Proceeding Words

I had another meeting today. That's when I do my best work. Following is one of my pieces from my 'productive' day.

 

Progress report

It’s never fully done

We’re always striving to prove, improve,

To learn and relearn

If we see it as the end, so it will be

The end mark instructs a stop.

Don’t stop, never stop.

Continue on the journey,

Never be content where you are

Take the time to enjoy the ride

But never stop riding. 

~be more than a being~

Reorder The Stars

Teardrops of pain trumped those of joy.
The inequity of this fate brings agony-
A heart of dreams wrenched from my being
completely unknowingly
While the world watches in ignorance.

To you my smile shines bright
The shimmer in my eyes only of love
for they've forgotten my future
and altered yours
And the world watches in ignorance.

Few know of my unabating grief
And even less can understand it
Empathy is not my intention
My desire is only a modification of the time line.


~I require a ride in the DeLorean~

3 + 1 = Us

I feel as if I can relate well to Jess from New Girl as of late. I have recently moved into a duplex with 3 boys. I say boys despite their ages (mid to late 20s). They have moments of brilliance, maturity, and compassion, but in reality, they are boys in men's bodies.
Life for boys consist of food (mostly fast or previously prepared) and the couch. What takes place on the couch involves food, or remotes and often blankets.
Other than the mountains of boxes piled in our rec room downstairs, I don't have any real complaints as of yet. It'll definitely be a learning experience for me... I'm not accustomed to living with boys (my brother doesn't count).

~You can run away from your problem, but you're just gonna find new ones that pop up~

In Order To Plan

I was at a meeting today- all day. It was productive.
Here is what I did...

Purpose is irrelevant
it exists only in your mind
Each mind survives in solitude
and believes alone

Success requires translation
for every head speaks contrarily
what is valid to one
becomes inconsequential to another

To learn to achieve
one must admit that 
understanding is a process-
a process never completed

Can one be content not knowing-
living in the darkness
never fully aglow
just chasing the distant light

of course I sat and wrote this in 10 minutes, so I'm sure some sort of edit is required. My feelings are, however, that

~meet me again~

Rollercoaster Ride

In August I resigned from my teaching position. It was nothing against the school, students, or staff. For the most part it was a very positive experience. However, it wasn't for me.
Quitting a for-sure job without having a back up was not easy. All summer I applied for positions (not that there were many to apply to) hoping and praying for something. But nothing came up.
I returned to Alberta at the end of August to move my stuff into storage, I had initially left my stuff in my house hoping something would come up and I could move it straight from one house to the next. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Instead it was a LONG 2 days of packing, driving, moving, squeezing, and cursing. But I finally got my stuff into [two] storage compartments in Edmonton.

I stuck around the area for a number of reasons. I wanted to visit my friends and Mason, I wanted to help Mason get settled into his classroom, and I wanted to be around for the slight chance I'd get an interview.

Despite Mason constantly telling to me to "be calm and patient, something is going to come up," I couldn't help but worry! Thanks to a friend of Mason's at school whom I had previously met, their principals interviewed me. It wasn't for any specific position, but they wanted to get to know me, and if a position DID come up, then they'd have someone to stick in it right away.

Well apparently I interview well, and made a good impression, for these two lovely ladies called the elementary schools in t ]he area and told them not to ignore my name and if they had a position open then to definitely meet with me.

A principal at one of the elementary schools called me (it was actually in response to a call I'd made to him when I first came to town for the initial interview) and said he didn't have any current positions, but would love to meet me and put a face to a name.
I met with him on Tuesday for a few minutes. He said there was nothing available, but there was a slim chance that a position would come up in the next few days due to numbers, and for me to keep an eye on the job postings.

Two days later (last night) he called me saying they'd decided to add another grade 4 class, would I be interested in coming in for an interview! So this morning I left Edmonton to make the 2 and a half hour drive back to the town for an interview.

At 6:30 tonight I was offered the job!

It truly astonishes me how quickly things can turn around!
Tomorrow morning I'm meeting with one of my grade partners. She will be giving me a tour and sharing some vital information. Monday I start, I get a few days to prep my room (which is currently being emptied) and on Wednesday or Thursday I get my munchkins.

It's all happening so fast! I have very little stuff here, school supplies as well as clothing (while mostly shoes...) and I have nowhere to live. These next few weeks are going to be hectic. I'm already overwhelmed and a touch emotional... Needless to say, Mason is excited for me to be here.


~Loops, dives, and big steps: all in a short amount of time~

Dirty Popsicle

It has never been my intention to seduce. They are not my type, nor I theirs. Our affair would be short and bitter (lacking much sweet). Not to mention, he'd not be happy.
It is him that is the catalyst for these non-seductions.

They never understood his affection toward me. What was I in their eyes but the quiet prig focused on controlling his thoughts and moves. This, however, was never the case. It was my diffidence that led them to this believe. This now is what I strive to mend.

As I declared earlier, seduction was never my goal. Instead I aspired to ignite an interest; to create a spark that defines me as more than the insipid ball and chain. Open your mind and see that I can be funny, sexy, wild, and spontaneous.

Beyond an open mind, I was not prepared for the ramifications of my actions.

~A strange and unprecedented desire to justify his feelings for me~

What Happens in Vegas...

Mason and I are off to Las Vegas for a few days in July. I've never been, and know nothing about it. It'll be an adventure to be sure. This will also be the first holiday I've gone on with a boyfriend. But Mason's not just a boyfriend.

~...We will soon know!~

Engulfing Storms

As the storm grows nearer, the headache worsens and excitement thrives. Though aching at times, such power engulfs me. The damage endured merits the rush. The banality of the truth is striking as I grow more aware of the pleasure exuding from the pain. To exchange a brief moment of discomfort for a lingering time of delight: their is no question.

You ask, then don't understand. To the world of pleasure seekers, they need neither ask, nor riposte. For a deep appreciation for desire persists, in truth it dominates beyond recognition. Begging for respite only to be left empty and unfulfilled. The final rumble of thunder steals away your last hope of climax.

~rain only makes you wet~

In Synch

We stand at the foot of the mountain
Hand in hand, eyes cast upward
Contemplating one and the same
Yet viewing from truly dissimilar positions.

I marvel at the drastic contrast
I fear the bearings where we'll converge:
How far must we trek before we unite;
How far until we balance?

We walk this path in tandem 
In step yet discrete
Our footsteps echo behind us
The shadows cast no light on our path.

~a predicament~

Held in Bed

Last night I had a dream that I had been kidnapped and held hostage. He held me hostage in a bed. I wasn’t tied (this wasn’t a kinky dream). He just told me to stay there, and he served me. He brought me drink and food when ere I needed it. I think he was trying to make me fall in love with him. He seemed to have known me (perhaps he was a stalker as well).

Occasionally he would allow others to enter the house, but they were not permitted any kind of weapon, and he had a gun on them the entire time.

A while later, after I’d been rescued and my kidnapper had been convicted, I was with a friend and we returned to the house where it happened. I thought I would be ok, but then someone came out. The man, though very handsome, looked just like the man that had held me against my will. I started to shake; I could barely breath. I turned away and fell to the ground. Apparently the incident really affected me.

They explained to me that this was that guy’s brother. They are nothing alike and he feels horrible for what his brother did to me.

Ok, I got over it. But then, for some reason, they brought me with them when they went to see his family. I didn’t have quite the breakdown that I had had earlier, but I was definitely not comfortable. The good brother explained to the family why I was uneasy. Apparently they didn’t know.

~Apparently, the warmer I am, the less I dream~

One of Life's Cruel Games

There will always be at least one or two students that drive you CRAZY. And that's not to say that you will necessarily dislike those students, but your patience with them maybe continuously on this ice. One of these students for me is Chiku. She cannot sit still, she does not stop talking, and you should never trust a word out of her mouth.

Well Chiku, entered the school in tears today. Her knee and elbows were cut open and bleeding as she'd tripped on a "big rock" and fell onto the stones. So I took her to the bathroom and helped clean her up.
Once she'd stopped crying, and she'd been bandaged she declared, "I don't think I'll be running on those rocks any time soon!" (for the record she can was running on them by the end of the day)
I told her that's a good idea, she probably shouldn't have been running on them to begin with.
She looked up at me and said in her matter-of-fact way, "but Miss Dahmer, I didn't want to be late. It makes you made and I don't like when you're mad."
Too bad she tends to forget this at all other times of the day. Oh well, it was cute.

Later today, I was at the library when this same girl rushes in. She stops, looks at me and yells "Miss Dahmer!" in a somewhat accusing voice, and attacks me with a hug. Apparently all my talk of "library voices" haven't sunk in. But no surprises there.

At least I know she'll still love me after I've pulled out all my hair.


~above all else, love; for love covers a multitude of sins~

Take Me, Inside The Words

We all retain- whether publicly or not- a venue of interest. A site, in the depths of our mind, where our thoughts and fantasies reside. There, exists a spring of unending whims. The purpose of this source differs from person to person. As does its authority.
For me, my mind, heart, and soul is refreshed within the confines of literature. Words that long preexist me, and so will prevail. Stories of love, passion, courage, and fear. Words webbed together in a genuine form of beauty. Artists whom I admire and envy above all else.
To be surrounded by so many worlds, characters, dreams, and desires does little but fuel me. Fuel me for life, love, and purpose. No matter the affair at hand, I draw my stimulus from these things.

And so, with a refuge such as this, is it unnatural to yearn for my own passion among the immortal? To somehow, if only in my insignificant form, join in on their pleasure for a short time. It is not to slight the masters that I hunger for this, but to honour them.

~words become meaningful when bound~

Turning On the Waterworks

I have never been one to shed a lot of tears. Other than books and movies, few things fazed me. Now don't take this the wrong way, I cried when my grandparents died, and when me father got sick. But that was the extent of it.

This all changed about a year ago. I can't give you an exact date, but I often associate it with the start of Mason's and my relationship. Now this sounds bad, and Mason hates that I make that link, for some reason though, it just made sense. It wasn't that he was mean to me, abused me, or in anyway attempted to make me cry. It would just happen.

Tonight, after a number of defiant weeping episodes, I may have finally come up with a basis for this [emotional] madness.


When I read, or watch a movie, I get attached to the characters. There are times after a movie, that I find myself behaving like a character from it, reenacting certain scenes. And you saw from my early post how my books can take hold of my mind. It is for this reason that books and movies caused me to shed tears. To me, they weren't just a form of entertainment. I was invested in the characters, and their lives. So when one died, or had their heart broken, or some other dramatic event, I felt their pain as well.
I can be an extremely empathetic person.

Since Mason entered my life, my emotions seem to have gone haywire. Tonight, I think I have discovered the reason for this- emotional investment.
I've always been a guarded person, but he broke down my boundaries and has released the teary beast!

Thankfully, he is patient, and only teases me slightly for the seemingly pointless grounds for my tears.

~Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!~

You Dream what You Read

The other night I had a dream. Someone I loved was being held hostage (I have no idea who this person is, so from now on I'll call him/her Blair). So, of course, I was in pursuit of them. I discovered that Blair was being held by at least two men.  While one was distracted, I sneaked in to make my rescue.
The man that was holding Blair was no man at all, but one of my students- Abbott. Of course in my dream I wasn't a teacher, and he was not an 8 year old boy. But nonetheless, it freaked me out.
So I crept up behind Abbott with the notion that I was going to cut his throat... I won't go in to the gory details as they still give me the hibby jibbies. But I will have to remember next time I'm cutting someone's throat in a dream, I should remember to sharpen the blade.


Here I am, 3 days later, still slightly unnerved by this dream. I mean, I know that the hostage situation, and murdering was influenced by my choice of entertainment that night (I was watching season 1 of 24, and read The Hunger Games). But from where did my student come from? Why was he the one that I had to kill?
Do I need to visit a psychologist? Or am I just so into The Hunger Games, that subconsciously I'm experiencing what I imagine Katniss to be facing in having to kill those she cares about.


~I woke from that dream crying~

Don't Just Watch Me

What must I do to get your attention. To what lengths must I go? It is not enough for a mere glance, or casual visit. I need more. I need interaction.
When I bare my soul to you, react. When I divulge my desires to you, don't merely smile and nod. Reciprocate with reason.
You come, you explore, then you're off, with no evidence of your stay.

Talk. Share. Depart on me your wisdom. For this is the point: the reason I commune.


~As I criticize you~

So They Say

They say a guy that treats you well, 
and the waitress poorly, 
is not a good guy. 

If you want to know how he is going to treat you in 10 or 20 years,

look at how he treats his mother. 

Of course there are always exceptions. 

But these are good rules of thumb. 

Be aware of how he treats others, as well as you. 

For more, I found this site. 

~Don't let your love be blind~

Shhhhh!

and you'll say
don't you worry your pretty little mind
people throw rocks at things that shine
and life makes love look hard
the stakes are high the water's rough
but this love is ours...

Falling fast from our high
the struggles and pain
can make it hard to try

I fear a demise
on our current path
beneath these stormy skies

A silent plea
barely reaches your ears
I know not it I want you to see

It was once proclaimed
"All You Need is Love"
but can that love be sustained


~I'm a Kayak here me roar~

On My Lips

A song which I understand. The message and the reason is clear. 

It makes me smile.

It makes me dance. 

It gives me shivers. 

~Just Like You~

A Concerned Note

The music speaks to me. There are brief moments of clarity, but in general it is a hazy voice. I know not what it tells me, and fear this. With numerous messages bearing the same theme, I search for an interpreter. I fear it is time for the truth to be revealed, whatever that may be.

A remembrance of what once was, with a hint of the now. Where is my heart focused? What does my mind see? Are they memories of the past, or desires for the future?
The passion, the value, where is it sustained? I remain fascinated, but fear why.

~Sing me the truth, so that I may know it. ~

Need to Feel Some Movin'

I wanna feel the Earth move under my feet
move me a long way from here.
Just pick up my house, and job,
and church, and transplant me.
Either 6 hours north,
or 12 hours East.
I just want to move.


~slightly torn, and extremely out of place~

To Feel

So Called "Life"

Last week I was in Jamaica with my parents and sister #2.
Jamaica is a beautiful place. It's not like Mexico with mile upon mile of beach, but it has hills, and trees. There is life everywhere, it reminds me of paradise!

The people are all very friendly... some of them- mainly the men- perhaps TOO friendly. I have never been hit on so much. It was uncomfortable at times, but it was also a nice reminder. Everyone needs to be informed now and then that they are desired, however shallow that yearning may be.

Having toured a little bit of the island on a day excursion I was also reminded of how blessed we are in North America. They all have so little, and their houses look as if they are on the verge of collapsing. Of course, when hurricane season lasts from June till November, for half the year your house practically is falling down!

It is the perfect vacation- an all inclusive resort. No cooking or cleaning. Sleep when you want, eat when you want, drink when you want. The biggest problem we faced was having to wait for seats at the restaurant. Which, in retrospect was not that big of a deal.

To enjoy life in this manner for a week, or two... or maybe even 3, is surely a sublime existence. But ultimately, having a larger meaning in life - a reason other than wanting good chairs at the beach- to get up everyday, wins out. Or so I'd imagine it would... if I ever put this theory to the test.

Unfortunately, however, it will have to remain a mere theory for now. Money, job, and so called "life" have summoned me home and I am back to work.

~As the Jamaicans say, "we have a situation here"~

Be My Valentine

Here's a quick *share* from me to you. I have attached a picture of the beautiful Valentine I got this year- from my boyfriend's parents. The only one. (Other than from my students.) Isn't life funny. 

~oops! forgot to smile~

1 Year... And Counting

It's been 1 year ago today since my boyfriend's and my first date. However, we do not consider this our anniversary. I guess it took us a few days to decide we liked each other enough to continue this.
I've never made it this long before- a year that is. Usually I get scared or bored with the boys I'm with. Maybe it helps this time that for the majority of the relationship we've lived at least 6 hours apart. Makes each time we see each other seem like a real novelty, and emotions are somewhat exaggerated. So can I say I have a realistic view and understanding of "us"?

~how'd we do it?~

Small Fits of Laughter 2

For many of the children in my class, English is their second language. Though they have no accent to reveal this, it can be seen at times in certain words or phrases they use, or try to use.

One boy in particular tends to be a reoccurring star in this.
Once again this arose at prayer time. Over the past few weeks we'd been praying for the victims of various plane, train, and helicopter crashes the kids had heard about. One of my little grade ones -I'll call him Arnie- raised his hand suggesting we pray for the "vrixdoms of the crashes."
It took a moment to realize he was trying to say 'victims'. He had no idea that he was saying it wrong, he was just trying to imitate what he heard the other children say. In his mind, he was saying it the exact same way.


On Friday, Arnie successfully got me, along with my 2 TAs bulled over laughing. It was one of my TAs last day on Friday because she is going to Africa on a 2 month mission trip. As a class we had made her a class book, each writing something we will remember about her. When I was presenting the book to her, I asked the kids where it was that she was going. Many kids raised their hands: I called on Arnie. He announced loudly to the class, "she is passing away."
Well we couldn't hide our laughter this time.
Before I had a chance to correct Arnie, one of the kids yelled out to Arnie, "that means she's going to die!"

At least he's a good sport about it, and his mistakes don't cause him embarrassment which lead to shyness or an unwillingness to share with the class.
It is his innocence that brings joy, not his desire to be comical, that's the most refreshing part.


~tell me a story~

Small Fits of Laughter 1

Despite all the frustration and annoyance, my students make me laugh.

Illustration for the day
We begin every day with a devotion. After reading a short story with a lesson, and verses that correspond, I take prayer requests from the students. The father of 2 boys in my class (brothers obviously) had a surgery before Christmas. This has landed him a semi-permanent spot on our prayer list. Last week when the older brother requested we pray for him, I asked how he was doing. He responded, solemnly, "he's about 89% better." Firstly, I know that these kids have very little, if any understanding of percentages. Secondly, even if he did understand percentages- 89?
A few days ago, at our daily prayer time, this boy once again requested special prayers for his dad. Upon inquiry once again on his condition, he informed us that he is now "99% better!"
One of the girls was amazed, "he was 89% last week, and this week is 99%, wow!"

It reminds me of the innocence of children and how they see the world in such positive light. This way the little things can be appreciated so much more.

~a simple sort of way~

Time is Running Out

Life on a pendulum- swinging back and forth, back and forth- without an anchor (or a power switch) has its faults. Not only does dizziness ensue, but stability is none existent. Ultimately, it's a mental state more than anything else. A free falling mind-set easily swayed by winds from all directions. Even when level, my course is blurry, and body spinning, resulting in a feeble attempt at success. A path to be reached through accidents and weak excuses.

It is not what you can do to help me, but what I must do to save me.
But what is it must I do?

~Tic tock on the clock~

¡Breaking News!

That which has always been rumoured, but never experienced in my life has transpired! Up until now, when a man had been told of his woman's discontent or worry, some [false] sympathy had been expressed, and a moment or two of "transformation" unfolded.  But that was the extent of it. Recently however, after informing Mason that  I was unhappy and needed a change. I was amazed to SEE that change occur- almost instantaneously.

Now I know what you sceptics are thinking- because I use to be one, so I know how you think. But it's been nearly 2 weeks, and the alterations in behaviour have been constant throughout. It was not a one time thing, but a genuine, modification.

I am baffled, overwhelmed, and sincerely impressed. Miracles really do happen!
He continues to amaze me, and for that I am grateful. I applaud his heart, commitment, and patience (mostly in dealing with my sometimes irrational fears).

~only slightly exaggerated~

"According to my Research"

I hope this isn't true, or I still have a long way to go. Though I doubt it is. In my opinion a lot of what scientists, or psychologist tell the public is just one possibility of what the "evidence" points to. It's all in how you interpret it. 

Plus, much of what our world views as love, is little more than a lust or obsession over someone... or even over a feeling. Our world sees love as a self-centered thing, what can it do for me. Love-true love-is selfless, and this in itself very un-like our world. 

~you had me at hello~

Pin It

I have recently fallen prey to Pinterest. If you have not heard of it- stand strong, don't go check it out. It's addicting! So many interesting ideas, recipes, pictures, quotes... the list goes on! I've joined only days ago, and already I've collected (or in the world of Pinterest "pinned") over 100 pictures and links.
In a way, it's like window shopping, except that there's no fear of falling into actual shopping because they don't have your credit card, and you don't have friends dragging you into stores. It's merely the opportunity to collect ideas of things you like, in nearly any interest or desires.
It is an ingenious way to lead unsuspecting internet users into hours of wasted time, with little more than pictures to show for your quest.

The worst part of all is it has tempted me to explore areas, and feed my fancy on topics I should not currently be concerned with. It has enveloped my mind and seeped into my dreams! Two nights ago Mason and I were wedding planning! Dreams are evil, evil things fed by Pinterest.

~be careful what you're looking for~

A Need to Move in Forward Motion

What began as an adventure has quickly spiralled into motionless realm. That which once encouraged anticipation, now generates vexation. Too many evenings of solitude tends to harden a person- occasionally to the point of desperation. 6 hours no longer seems too long for the touch of a hand that does not belong to a 6 year old. 

The seemingly positive news that only 5 moths remains drives me further to the edge, rather than hearten retreat. 

There is a reason, I just don't see it. And I struggle. 

~stop sending the message I don't want to get~

Wait At Least A Year

You put us on pause to give yourself more time. But I ask, why can't it be simultaneous? Whoever said two changes, growths, or advancements can't be accomplished together. Stability is a state of mind. It need not be financial or professional. If you are ready for the next step, than surrounding factors need not interfere. The next big adventure is waiting for you at your finger tips. Stop brushing and reach out.

 

~apparently our time lines neither align, nor intertwine~

Blinders

I read this quote and thought it was cute. And true. If guys (and girls for that matter) spent their time thinking of new ways to show their significant other that they love them, then they'll have less time thinking about non-significant others. If we stop thinking about ourselves, and what would make us 'happy' and instead thought of ways to make others happy, then I think the end result would be 2 happy people.


The quote also reminded me of a song (because ultimately, almost everything in life reminds me of a song).
So here's the song, and lyrics (because to me, that's where the meaning and value lies)

While the above song is by an Andrew Allen, I see here fit to share lyrics from a song by a Kris Allen. I don't think there is any relation.

Kris says,
"We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying"

~start living in love~

It Separates the Men from the Travelers

My Kindergarten student (Kayson) came to school today, all dressed up in black slacks  and a shiny, long-sleeved, button down purple shirt. For a kid who is most commonly seen in sweatpants and an athletic shirt, this came as a bit of a shock to me.
And so I asked him, "Kayson, you look handsome today. What's the occasion?"
He looked up at me and said, "I had to wear it to show you my purple shirt."

Before Christmas, Kayson had told me he'd asked his Grandma for a purple shirt for Christmas. At the time I thought it was an odd request for a 6 year old.
Now that I see the shirt, I know it is an odd request for a 6 year old.
But man did he ever look cute!

This look, but without the pinstripes and on a 6 year old. 

In other news. 

One of my boys came to school this morning and informed me that they were leaving for Mexico tonight for a month. 

Thanks for the heads up.

~maybe I'll move to Russia~

'I have an Announcement'

One of my students tells me today, "You know Mexican's aren't just Mexican's they're people too."
Trying to stifle my laughter I asked him, "oh yeah, where did you hear that?"
"On a movie."


During our school assembly this morning, our principal was making announcements about upcoming events. When he was done with his information, he asked the fellow teachers, and the student government if they had anything to add. One of my little girls raised her hand, when the principal called on her she declared, "and we're starting 'show and tell' in our class'."
Thanks for sharing dear...


It's good to laugh at least once a day. 

Take My Hand

Three facebook friends have announced their engagements over the last 24 hours. It's an epidemic! Or perhaps they are influenced by the impending "end of the world." The same thing happened before and during the World Wars, and (according to Mrs. Weasley) at the height of Voldemort's power the first time around. In the face of fear and uncertainty, human beings cling to one another. It is in other's we find love and hope, and ultimately a reason for living. It is for this reason that, when faced with the possibility of death or world wide pandemonium, we seek refuge in each other. The fear or doubt that might otherwise influence, are forgotten in the surrounding unease.
I guess it takes war and bedlam for Love to become our foundation.

~Mason remains unperturbed ~

Advice from Dumbledore

Memories Bring only Tears

My holidays are over, and I'm now home- if I can call such a place home.
It is windy, quiet, lonely. Home is suppose to be where my heart is, but my heart is anywhere but here. My heart is with the people I love, and the things I love doing. This place lacks all the essentials. Sure my stuff is here, and my life (if you can call it that) is here, but I struggle to find joy in this windy, snowless, desolate place.
Rather than living, I feel like I'm stuck on pause. For a slight moment I was in play but it was quick-barely a blink. And now I've been returned to this painful, emotionally deprived state.
I long for a change, yet the time is constantly prolonged.

~Living on a Prayer~