Bye Bye Baby

I wouldn't believe them- how could it be!
Sixteen and pregnant, hiding the truth from the world, and from him. He who would've stood strong with me.
Sent off and discarded, as if a worthless object to me. How could I ever be in that mind set?
And now forgotten, a case inconceivable to the victim. An experience concealed by shock and fear. A scar on a family.
Was this my history, I almost believed...

And then I awoke. Sad, scared, and confused. From where did this idea come? How were they nearly able to convince me of such an offence, even for a moment in my waking state?


~the power of dreams~

Moments Away

Down the prairie road I tread. Whence I left remains in clear sight, though time indicates I aught to be long gone. I peer ahead and see my journey's end. Is the distance I have set off to travel as brief as it appears?

No, the prairie road misleads. This long straight path passes fields of wheat and corn and hemp and beets. It is no easy journey. I can look back and see the times I strayed into the fields; overcome with curiosity I abandoned my set destination for a time. The path was not easy, however. Having been swarmed with bugs and scratched by the uncultivated crop, I slowly returned to the appointed path.

And now, minutes away from that which I set off to reach, I fear. I fear that I am not prepared. The long prairie road was not long enough...
But I'm here, with no time to spare.


~prairie road trained~

Please Read My Mind

Before an important conversation, or an event where I have to share my thoughts or opinions I rehearse it in my mind for days on end. This happens for days until I think I am comfortable and I know exactly what it is that that I wish to say. 

Then that fateful time arrives, it is time to share. My heart beats fast, my mind goes blank, palms go sweaty and any voice that remains shakes uncontrollably (often you can throw in some tears for good measure). 

How will I ever be able to convince someone that

 what I say is true, if I myself cannot even vocalize it?

~something worth saying must be said~

139 Years Later...

~... what's wrong with barber shops?~

Ideas and Thinking- oh no!

http://weheartit.com

By the power invested in me by my father's title, I have thus diagnosed myself. I, Lauren, a self proclaimed reader, are suffering from ideas of grandeur. Visions of my own place, responsibility, and a real job have misguided me. In actual fact, I'm still a child! 

I am ignorant and naive of the real world. Realities like taxes, RRSPs, health benefits are mere terms to me. What is their purpose? How do I apply them? 

My understanding of the world is limited to small towns and a student's life. I had not yet cut ties with my bonds, the comfort of knowing I'm loved and cared for no matter what was my rock, the foundation on which I tread. And while I know that love changes not at this time, the attachment has been stretched to nearly unrecognizable lengths. 

Pop culture has romanticized growing up, life, and moving out. As per usual, however, country music has it right :

so here I am in my new apartment

In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up

I wish I'd never grown up

Thank you Taylor for once again writing to and for me.

~sitting alone in the dark~

Of Two Minds

palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...
[she]'s nervous, but on the surface [she] looks calm and ready...
the clock's run out, time is up...

The New Way Back

I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

  

I want to shout it out

From every rooftop sing

Let you and the world know

I want to be a 'we'

It's time to take my hand

and open our eyes to the world

there's no need to be apart

when we can be together

So brush of the world's stigma

We are bigger than that

Strength and commitment can win

Without it the world is lost

~keep dreaming princess~

To the Dried Bean Capital of the West

The world is in motion, just like me. This past week has been a whirl of changes triggered by required choices.  (I am So indecisive it's painful.)
With 2 interviews, and 2 job offers in less than a week, life suddenly seemed to be on fast forward. No time to stop and nit-pick through each scene in search of foreshadowing or signs. The conclusion was inevitable and imminent.

And now here I am, praying that it's where I'm suppose to be. Unfortunately if it is, it is over 5 hours away from some of the best friends a girl can have and her fantastic boyfriend; and over 13 hours away from her devoted family. However, I should be thankful... I could have been 8 and 25 hours away. It's all how you look at it.


~Perspective and attitude. Let those be my guide. ~

Over The Wall

I want to escape with you. Run off into the wild, overcome trials and celebrate success. You bring me to places I've never seen. With you I experience the incredible. You cause tears of joy and sadness. Because of you I yell, scream, laugh, and gasp.
You inspire change and reassure habits. I feel torn between wanting to share you with the world, and keep you to myself.
Every time is different, and everyone who experiences you is affected in a distinct way. Innocence is celebrate, and good conquers evil.
Bring me with you. Love me, pull me, challenge me, stretch me. Envelope me in a hug nothing can penetrate. The world disturbs and you preserve.




~library of worlds~

Steamy

Of course there's always the option of having your own library. This way you aren't given time restrictions; it's full of books that you are interested in and are worth your time; you can sit right down in front of the shelf and no one will step on you or complain.
Plus, you don't have to worry about being quiet.

Who needs Harlequin Romances in their library when they can have their own romance in their library.

~live a little~

Reading my Love story

Reading: only my most favourite past time. Books are my best friend, my comfort, and my escape. Curling up with a good book often beats a social event- but that sounds rather hermit-y of me. Perhaps I am just a nerd, but one of my favourite places is a book store- so many worlds, characters, and adventures calling to me! 

Of course bookstores are often very large and quiet, and I won't lie... Getting kissed up against characters like Elizabeth Bennet or Isolde has always been a fantasy of mine. While my love story will never compare, a girl can wish. And what are these stories for if not to experience ourselves! 

~force me into the books~