Creativity


Stimulating the imagination

and inventive powers

to bring something

into being using

originality and expressiveness

~go wild~

Bite your Tongue

So i've never been one capable of mastering my nervousness. If i was nervous it was always evident to all in the same vicinity as I. Today, however, i discovered a new indication of this nervousness.

Before i always thought that when i was nervous my mouth stayed shut- i would remain as quiet as possible in order to keep the attention off me and, well, on anything else.

Today, my chatty side (experienced only by a special company) was released. Unfortunately, it was not intelligent chatter. In fact i fear that it would be better described as babbling.

I babbled.

There i was trying to make a good impression, to sound at least somewhat clever, and instead i made a fool of myself.

From topic to topic i sped, as if the world was going to be blown up in a 2 minutes and only i had the vital information needed to stop it, and all i had to do was convey what i knew to the hero so he could save us...gah!

My topics, sentences, and words all streamed together in illegible jumble, which wouldn't have been so bad if i had been enunciating.
but no, i mumbled!


I mumbled and i babbled! though i suppose if i'm looking for that silver lining i should be pleased that i didn't drool as well...


~this could ruin everything~

a blind step

there is something thrilling and rejuvinating about acting out of your nature
of taking that step past where your previous record was set
throwing the stars out of line as those around you gasp in amazement
or confusion...
even for an instant they see a girl they did not previously know
and at that moment, while spinning out of control, you find direction
the smallest step can set you off course
and transform the original assumptions into meaning



~i plead insanity~

Treasure Hunting

"Excuse me, i don't mean to bug you, but i found a brassiere here, and i was wondering what you think i should do with it..."

Even with my ipod on i could hear my neighbour loud and clear over my shovel scraping the ground and the tree, chopping machine on the other side of the house. He had found a 'brassiere' and was asking me what i thought he should do with it.
What, did he think it was mine?
Was it some sort of a pick-up line or conversation starter?
Were we supposed to bond over some forgotten piece of underwear, to give this object a new life or purpose?

But i went out to the back alley where he was pointing and sure enough- there was a black brassiere, lying in a mangled heap in the snow.
I doubted anyone would come back looking for it, it seemed relatively insignificant that it would not break any young, horny teen's heart.


But that got me thinking, how many things have i misplaced, dropped, or neglected in my journeys that have seemed worthless to others, things that, upon their discovery, weren't given a second glance before they were tossed into the trash, or maybe even left on the ground to be trampled.

Things that were priceless to me -irreplaceable- that i carefully presented to someone whom i thought would appreciate it. Only days later, however, i noticed it tossed miserably in the dark, unwanted and undervalued.

You know how they say 'One man's junk is another man's treasure'... i suppose, theoretically it could also mean "one man's treasure is another man's junk'


It reminds me of the movie The Little Mermaid, when she has that cave full of broken jars, silverware, a random statue (course it's of Prince Eric, so it's not that random i sometimes tend to exaggerate)... the other world, -above water- would count all Ariel's treasures as junk. But she sees them through different eyes, with a new kind of admiration and appreciation.



~in a world full of guys like you~

The Land of the Sideways Moon

The 8 odd days i spent in Mexico over Christmas break/New Years was the best week i'd had in far too long. And while the warm sun on my near-naked body, the constant intake of food and drink, and the wonderful company i had was awesome, they were not the reason for the near Utopia.

Instead it was the complete separation from the rest of my world: the decisions i have to make, the people who have hurt me, the stress of school, and the realities of... life

None of this mattered when i spent my days in the sun. I could sleep at night and live during the day. No freak-outs, no hyperventilations, no worries.

The most i had to worry about was the huge spiders, and the weird noise coming from the corner of my room.
The biggest decisions i had to make was which bathing suit i'd wear that day and what drink i'd try next.
It was a effortless life that i could have lived with for at least a few more weeks.

Unfortunately good things never last too long. All too soon i was on a red-eye back to reality, school, decisions, and stress. Of course i was also back to friends and loved ones, so that helped to numb the pain a bit.



~sleepless in reality~

The New Girl

It was like elementary school all over again.

I walked into my 3rd class this afternoon only to find myself suddenly engrossed in the mayhem of chatter, laughter, and post-christmas break reunions. Hugs, hand shakes, slaps on the back, everywhere i turned i was reminded of my encroachment into unfamiliar land and my ultimate alienation.

I tried to squeeze through the gleeful people, without bringing much attention to myself, and seat myself inconspicuously separate from the others, but not in a way that my distance would be noticeable.

As i sat down i raised my eyes and one of the boys in the center of the excitement caught my eyes and mouthed a quick welcome, i smiled and quickly returned my eyes to the ground as i took a seat.

I did not stay remote for long, as a boy i was vaguely familiar with, came and took a seat next to me. His friendly chatter helped to calm some of my nerves, which i was thankful for.

But the reduced heart beat did not last long as the professor called as all to the stage to sit in a circle (it was a drama class).

I sat between the boy who had provided me with my initial welcome and the boy who had come to talk to me. Suddenly three new hands were thrust toward me as three overly-eager boys introduced themselves to me.

After the professors introductory spiel, we were told to get into partners. I was instantly 'dibs-ed' and a second later asked from the other side.

What a feeling, to be more than just a face in the crowd, another girl. Instead being something new, mysterious and - dare i say it - interesting! (at least for a short time)

After years of being like everyone else (with a few exceptions which never lasted long anyway), it felt almost special (weaved together characteristically with fear)

If nothing else, it was nice to feel wanted, even for a short time

~something special~