Nearly through January, a particularly desolate fact i'm skeptical about whether i'm prepared for, yet fully aware that i have no choice but to embrace it.
so, just a random thought . . .
' Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby, I'm forever yours '
(lyrics from 'This Kiss' by Faith Hill)
At a young age, many girls have their whole life planned out; where they will attend school, how they will meet that 'perfect guy', how he will propose, each and every small detail of their wedding, dream job, the perfect family etc.. But the chances of those plans complying with their previous wants and desires are rare.
so the question is 'how does love get so off course?'. Their intentions seemed so simple, like nothing could lead it off course. Then, they realize that they're future plans are based on fiction. The numerous movies, books and songs that have been flooding their mind with distorted views of love has greatly influenced these plans, rendering them nearly impossible.
So, is there a process in which one can avoid these false impressions?
There is really no way to avoid the worlds contradicting views of love (that of sex=love and 'perfect' love in the movies)
I presume the only true way to discover love is to wait it out and without planning it, experience it for real!
- love is no doubt different for everyone -
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Regret
Regret is a powerful emotion.
It can cause one to lose sight of their hopes and dreams for the future due to the captivating sense of loss regarding a past mistake or action. As you reflect upon the past, it strikes you- perhaps that was a foolish course of action. And owing to that ignorant decision, perhaps something that may have been of been great value to you, will now be cast away, never to be offered again.
The grave realization that such a blame is on you, and that you had the opportunity to act upon such things, haunts you for years to come.
Or perhaps such a regret does not exist in you, but instead you did act upon such things, and the reactions rendered has cause similar pain and distress.
What do you do about these feelings?
Will they ever pass? Is there a way to reverse them, perhaps set them right?
Or are you destined for a life of musing and reflection on what could have been?
-will you gain more from taking actions or holding back?-
It can cause one to lose sight of their hopes and dreams for the future due to the captivating sense of loss regarding a past mistake or action. As you reflect upon the past, it strikes you- perhaps that was a foolish course of action. And owing to that ignorant decision, perhaps something that may have been of been great value to you, will now be cast away, never to be offered again.
The grave realization that such a blame is on you, and that you had the opportunity to act upon such things, haunts you for years to come.
Or perhaps such a regret does not exist in you, but instead you did act upon such things, and the reactions rendered has cause similar pain and distress.
What do you do about these feelings?
Will they ever pass? Is there a way to reverse them, perhaps set them right?
Or are you destined for a life of musing and reflection on what could have been?
-will you gain more from taking actions or holding back?-
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Benefits to Pain - No pain No Gain
I feel amazing, yet simultaneously, like death.
In the past 24 hours i have had more exercise than in the past month!
Last night, on account of it being my first Tuesday home since September, i spent the evening in the gym. Then following my 35 minute run on the elliptical, i joined my fellow dormies in an intense game of volleyball for over an hour.
Today, owing to the extreme temperature, Krysta and i decided to go on a rollerblading excursion (due to the amount of time it had been since either of us had last bladed). It was then that i realized just how completely out of shape i am!
Oh how sore i was after that, yet Amanda still managed to drag me out on a walk. And what an amazing walk it was, past a number of houses people and (much to Manda's disgust) dogs.
We also 'met' the family who lives in the 'ugly house' on the corner! (from the front it is not as hideous as i had first anticipated)
It was a good time, yet i feel i will most definitely regret it tomorrow. My leg and butt muscles are already yelling at me to slow down (which at the moment is somewhat impossible due to my motionless position on this computer chair).
If my new habit of exercise continues however, it will benefit me greatly, especially if we are truly to join the swimming team next year.
-it has all begun to improve for i have just received chocolate cheese cake front he girl down the hall!-
Manda, what if we remain in this situation all through our university experience?
In the past 24 hours i have had more exercise than in the past month!
Last night, on account of it being my first Tuesday home since September, i spent the evening in the gym. Then following my 35 minute run on the elliptical, i joined my fellow dormies in an intense game of volleyball for over an hour.
Today, owing to the extreme temperature, Krysta and i decided to go on a rollerblading excursion (due to the amount of time it had been since either of us had last bladed). It was then that i realized just how completely out of shape i am!
Oh how sore i was after that, yet Amanda still managed to drag me out on a walk. And what an amazing walk it was, past a number of houses people and (much to Manda's disgust) dogs.
We also 'met' the family who lives in the 'ugly house' on the corner! (from the front it is not as hideous as i had first anticipated)
It was a good time, yet i feel i will most definitely regret it tomorrow. My leg and butt muscles are already yelling at me to slow down (which at the moment is somewhat impossible due to my motionless position on this computer chair).
If my new habit of exercise continues however, it will benefit me greatly, especially if we are truly to join the swimming team next year.
-it has all begun to improve for i have just received chocolate cheese cake front he girl down the hall!-
Manda, what if we remain in this situation all through our university experience?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
impartial to such conventional affairs
There is more to life then getting drunk and high
what is the thrill in getting completely wasted- you don't know what your doing, you can't think clearly, you do stupid things which often causes you or someone you're close to great pain or strain
There is too much emphasis on college and university drinking, especially first year. Many first years get the 'freshman 15'. It's blamed primarily on the food they eat, but i truly believe that their drinking habits influence their weight gain far more than any food does.
When i speak with friends who are always away at university, they're stories and excitement revolve generally around the stupid things they've done while drunk out of their minds, or what they don't remember doing while being drunk out of their minds. Their friendships revolve around their drinking habits; which clubs they enjoy the most and who can afford the most alcohol.
Back home, the general belief was the great need or desire for drinking and getting stoned was a way to prove yourself worthy enough of a certain popularity or deserving of someone's friendship.
But perhaps the idea of winning ones friends prepares one for reality- where everything is one big fraud. Nothing is genuine, and once something (or someone) has fulfilled their purpose they are 'dismissed'.
We live in a very greedy world -every man for himself-
Working together to achieve something is rarely heard of, and when it does happen, one of the members has betrayed the other, leaving them humiliated and with nothing.
-Is there anyway to somehow bypass this part of life or this kind of life-
what is the thrill in getting completely wasted- you don't know what your doing, you can't think clearly, you do stupid things which often causes you or someone you're close to great pain or strain
There is too much emphasis on college and university drinking, especially first year. Many first years get the 'freshman 15'. It's blamed primarily on the food they eat, but i truly believe that their drinking habits influence their weight gain far more than any food does.
When i speak with friends who are always away at university, they're stories and excitement revolve generally around the stupid things they've done while drunk out of their minds, or what they don't remember doing while being drunk out of their minds. Their friendships revolve around their drinking habits; which clubs they enjoy the most and who can afford the most alcohol.
Back home, the general belief was the great need or desire for drinking and getting stoned was a way to prove yourself worthy enough of a certain popularity or deserving of someone's friendship.
But perhaps the idea of winning ones friends prepares one for reality- where everything is one big fraud. Nothing is genuine, and once something (or someone) has fulfilled their purpose they are 'dismissed'.
We live in a very greedy world -every man for himself-
Working together to achieve something is rarely heard of, and when it does happen, one of the members has betrayed the other, leaving them humiliated and with nothing.
-Is there anyway to somehow bypass this part of life or this kind of life-
Monday, January 23, 2006
Something Drastic Perhaps
The other night i found myself involved with something that i doubt i would have done two months prior to this. It's nothing completly insubordinate or immoral, it is rather something many people would not expect me to do, which is partially the reason why i decided to go along with it. I find it more exciting to be spontaneous and unpredictable than continualy forseen.
When you frequently do what everyone believes you'd do, it proves to be extremly difficult to be original and more exciting to be around.
There are down sides to being spontaneous and unpredictable however. As a friend has pointed out to me, if someone is overly unpredictable, then that is most likely someone you willl have a dificult time trusting, for the very reason that you are unsure of what they are going to do next.
So while i strife to be impulsive, bein trustworthy and dependable is more important to me.
But, whats wrong with a little fun once in a while?
-the hair reflects my personality- there's a significant contrast-
When you frequently do what everyone believes you'd do, it proves to be extremly difficult to be original and more exciting to be around.
There are down sides to being spontaneous and unpredictable however. As a friend has pointed out to me, if someone is overly unpredictable, then that is most likely someone you willl have a dificult time trusting, for the very reason that you are unsure of what they are going to do next.
So while i strife to be impulsive, bein trustworthy and dependable is more important to me.
But, whats wrong with a little fun once in a while?
-the hair reflects my personality- there's a significant contrast-
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tag - I'm it . . .
So i've been tagged . . . what ever that means. As the rules have been explained to me (by my tagg-er, or would it by tagg-y?)
The rules state that:
"The first player of this game starts with the topic 'Five Weird Habits' of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."
So here i go
Five Weird Habits
(i have a feeling this is going to be more difficult than i had first envisioned)
1. I talk to myself. Like, i say my name to myself, as if there was actually another person their with me. i often find myself talking to myself, out loud, while walking around in public and at school. I discuss problems, things i need to do and thoughts about other people that i may be passing, all with myself. Sometimes its better than talking to a real other person . . . this way i understand exactly what i'm being told.
2. I am physically (or perhaps mentally) unable to dispose of gum that still has flavour. If my gum has flavour and it is time to eat or something i will either keep the gum at the side of my mouth while eating the other item or take it out until i've finished with them other thing, then i will return it to my mouth to finish off the remaining flavour!
3. After watching a movie or reading a book i take on certain qualities of the characters which can result in my behaving abnormally (more so than usual). Past character i have imagined being are a princess, a pirate and a poor child living on the streets of London.
4. When i first take off my pants i empty out the pockets so i don't lose anything either on the way to the washing machine or while its in there. Then, before doing laundry i check my pockets again for anything i may have forgotten. Then, right before loading it into the washing machine, i check the pockets at least twice more, just to be certain i didn't miss anything. Now, i'm not sure, does this actually count as a habit or just a young girl losing her mind long before her time?
(i just know that as soon as i've finished this i'm going to think of my real weird habits, but right now, i'm definitely at a loss for them)
5. Last but now least (for now). I'm not actually sure if this is considered a habit or if it runs in my genes. The firm believe that chocolate truly has the power of fixing anything, no matter the severity or cause.
So there you go, 5 of my weird habits (but definitely not all of them) So, according to the 'rules' it is my duty to tag 5 more people . . . the only problem is that i do not know 5 people with a blog, least none that read my blog (they're all too cool for that). So i will name a few and see what goes from that.
i will tag - Evan, Krysta, Erik B., Brent and, i know he doesn't have a blog, but if he did, i'd tag him - just cause he's waiting for me to mention him, so Jordan (maybe you should get a blog!)
The rules state that:
"The first player of this game starts with the topic 'Five Weird Habits' of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."
So here i go
Five Weird Habits
(i have a feeling this is going to be more difficult than i had first envisioned)
1. I talk to myself. Like, i say my name to myself, as if there was actually another person their with me. i often find myself talking to myself, out loud, while walking around in public and at school. I discuss problems, things i need to do and thoughts about other people that i may be passing, all with myself. Sometimes its better than talking to a real other person . . . this way i understand exactly what i'm being told.
2. I am physically (or perhaps mentally) unable to dispose of gum that still has flavour. If my gum has flavour and it is time to eat or something i will either keep the gum at the side of my mouth while eating the other item or take it out until i've finished with them other thing, then i will return it to my mouth to finish off the remaining flavour!
3. After watching a movie or reading a book i take on certain qualities of the characters which can result in my behaving abnormally (more so than usual). Past character i have imagined being are a princess, a pirate and a poor child living on the streets of London.
4. When i first take off my pants i empty out the pockets so i don't lose anything either on the way to the washing machine or while its in there. Then, before doing laundry i check my pockets again for anything i may have forgotten. Then, right before loading it into the washing machine, i check the pockets at least twice more, just to be certain i didn't miss anything. Now, i'm not sure, does this actually count as a habit or just a young girl losing her mind long before her time?
(i just know that as soon as i've finished this i'm going to think of my real weird habits, but right now, i'm definitely at a loss for them)
5. Last but now least (for now). I'm not actually sure if this is considered a habit or if it runs in my genes. The firm believe that chocolate truly has the power of fixing anything, no matter the severity or cause.
So there you go, 5 of my weird habits (but definitely not all of them) So, according to the 'rules' it is my duty to tag 5 more people . . . the only problem is that i do not know 5 people with a blog, least none that read my blog (they're all too cool for that). So i will name a few and see what goes from that.
i will tag - Evan, Krysta, Erik B., Brent and, i know he doesn't have a blog, but if he did, i'd tag him - just cause he's waiting for me to mention him, so Jordan (maybe you should get a blog!)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Desensitize by the City Life
While sitting in class today i heard a siren in the distance, i had the sudden urge to run to a window and search for the emergency vehicle. Then i remembered- i'm in a city, i hear sirens at least 4 times a day, i should no longer feel drawn to the site of the unknown catastrophe.
I recall times back in high school when there were sirens heard and the entire class would run to the window in search for the location and the reason for the sirens. The dread that perhaps we knew the victim, flashes through our mind.
And now, not a second thought to whom the victim may be, what they may be suffering through, what they could have lost. The familiarity of the sound has left us with no compassion for those who may be involved.
I once heard that in large cities they are required to change the tone of the sirens once every few years. The reason for this is the residents of the area become accustomed to the noise and can easily shut it out, taking little to no notice of possible actions they maybe required to take or possible dangers they may encounter.
To me, i find it depressing that sirens have become an everyday part of life. They were first designed for emergencies and were known to draw large crowds. Now, those 'emergencies' have grown to be so regular that they are no longer any interest to the general public and even the officers are growing bored with their job.
Will all this continue until perhaps the emergency crew will soon be unconcerned with the troubles of others?
Is there a way that this can possibly be changed to somehow improve the outlook society has on the needy and troubles, perhaps offering more assistance rather than a blind eye?
- city folk should take a trip to the country, find a closer meaning to the words 'peace & quiet-
ah, the 7th sirens i remember hearing today :(
I recall times back in high school when there were sirens heard and the entire class would run to the window in search for the location and the reason for the sirens. The dread that perhaps we knew the victim, flashes through our mind.
And now, not a second thought to whom the victim may be, what they may be suffering through, what they could have lost. The familiarity of the sound has left us with no compassion for those who may be involved.
I once heard that in large cities they are required to change the tone of the sirens once every few years. The reason for this is the residents of the area become accustomed to the noise and can easily shut it out, taking little to no notice of possible actions they maybe required to take or possible dangers they may encounter.
To me, i find it depressing that sirens have become an everyday part of life. They were first designed for emergencies and were known to draw large crowds. Now, those 'emergencies' have grown to be so regular that they are no longer any interest to the general public and even the officers are growing bored with their job.
Will all this continue until perhaps the emergency crew will soon be unconcerned with the troubles of others?
Is there a way that this can possibly be changed to somehow improve the outlook society has on the needy and troubles, perhaps offering more assistance rather than a blind eye?
- city folk should take a trip to the country, find a closer meaning to the words 'peace & quiet-
ah, the 7th sirens i remember hearing today :(
Monday, January 16, 2006
the ceaseless cycle
You know that feeling of such excitement and contenment when you are experiencing something new for the first time! Everything just seems so perfect and incomparable- you never want it to end!? Then things change, and that thrill has concluded, leaving you unprepared.
My sequence of plumetting events proceeded in this manner -
1st - left to find a whole new world (a few provinces away)
2nd - everything and everyone was new, and it possesed such a powerful appeal
3rd - because of the thrill of the new and unexpected i was left with little chance of missing home, at times i missed friends and family, but there was no real craving for what i'd left behind.
4th - i returned home for Christmas break . . . 3 whole weeks. Though i missed everyone from school, it was great to see most of the people from home!
5th - returning to school, it's no longer something new, the appeal and thrill had faded.
6th - i remember what is was like to be home, and now that was all of a sudden something new and exciting. Something else to desire . . .
it is all one big cycle that may never end. Though i am impartial to if i truly wish it to end. Stopping would mean that i am content where i am, not ever wanting change or improvement. But, some people are staisfied living in the same place for their entire life.
What about me?
- destined for one spot? or to see the world?-
My sequence of plumetting events proceeded in this manner -
1st - left to find a whole new world (a few provinces away)
2nd - everything and everyone was new, and it possesed such a powerful appeal
3rd - because of the thrill of the new and unexpected i was left with little chance of missing home, at times i missed friends and family, but there was no real craving for what i'd left behind.
4th - i returned home for Christmas break . . . 3 whole weeks. Though i missed everyone from school, it was great to see most of the people from home!
5th - returning to school, it's no longer something new, the appeal and thrill had faded.
6th - i remember what is was like to be home, and now that was all of a sudden something new and exciting. Something else to desire . . .
it is all one big cycle that may never end. Though i am impartial to if i truly wish it to end. Stopping would mean that i am content where i am, not ever wanting change or improvement. But, some people are staisfied living in the same place for their entire life.
What about me?
- destined for one spot? or to see the world?-
Saturday, January 14, 2006
True Friends Fight
True Friends Fight . . . There's nothing you can do to stop it.
Friends who are true, mean so much to each other. You truly care what they think because you know that they are looking out for you, that they want the best for you and they do not have ulterior motives to somehow gain something at your expense. Instead a friend would do their best to aid the other before themselves.
Seeing a friend genuinely content should, in turn, make you happy for them.
Friends support each other threw thick and thin. But, they are not perfect and they do screw up and often upset you.
that's why true friends fight . . . because they let you down, you had a high standard for them, and they were unable to uphold that, they (like the rest of the world) failed you.
But, the good thing about friends is, that through everything- pain, betrayal, destruction . . . in the end, they are still their for you, they still love you and they are willing to do most anything to fix things.
Friends that are not real, that are more of the acquaintance type, are mostly likely not willing to take such measures to repair a damaged relationship.
-true friends are hard to find, so when you've found one, hold on tight-
Friends who are true, mean so much to each other. You truly care what they think because you know that they are looking out for you, that they want the best for you and they do not have ulterior motives to somehow gain something at your expense. Instead a friend would do their best to aid the other before themselves.
Seeing a friend genuinely content should, in turn, make you happy for them.
Friends support each other threw thick and thin. But, they are not perfect and they do screw up and often upset you.
that's why true friends fight . . . because they let you down, you had a high standard for them, and they were unable to uphold that, they (like the rest of the world) failed you.
But, the good thing about friends is, that through everything- pain, betrayal, destruction . . . in the end, they are still their for you, they still love you and they are willing to do most anything to fix things.
Friends that are not real, that are more of the acquaintance type, are mostly likely not willing to take such measures to repair a damaged relationship.
-true friends are hard to find, so when you've found one, hold on tight-
Friday, January 13, 2006
Post Script
Ok, so just in case i didn't make my point clear before, this is some new development on the agitating situation concerning Alberta and . . . their government.
During my long tedious bus ride to chemistry class, i had a near death experience with the transit system today. I was at my transfer spot and when i arrived there i was pleased to see my next bus already there. As i began making my way towards it, it began to pull away! I was filled with rage - i'm not waiting for the next one! So i chased after it! It wasn't stopping! I started pounding the window, hoping to get the drivers attention. He stoped at the lights and i began to beat upon the door, how could he deny me now? He gave me a rather upsetting glance before reluctantly openning the door. I had my headphones on, so i'm not sure if he said something to me, but the look on his face said enough. Not only was that dangerous, but it was stupid. Pfft, i didn't care, i was on the bus, which meant, i no longer had to sit in a cold, smelly disgusting bus stop waiting for the next one!
-i'll risk my life to reduce my time spent on the public bus-
During my long tedious bus ride to chemistry class, i had a near death experience with the transit system today. I was at my transfer spot and when i arrived there i was pleased to see my next bus already there. As i began making my way towards it, it began to pull away! I was filled with rage - i'm not waiting for the next one! So i chased after it! It wasn't stopping! I started pounding the window, hoping to get the drivers attention. He stoped at the lights and i began to beat upon the door, how could he deny me now? He gave me a rather upsetting glance before reluctantly openning the door. I had my headphones on, so i'm not sure if he said something to me, but the look on his face said enough. Not only was that dangerous, but it was stupid. Pfft, i didn't care, i was on the bus, which meant, i no longer had to sit in a cold, smelly disgusting bus stop waiting for the next one!
-i'll risk my life to reduce my time spent on the public bus-
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Stupid Albertan government
When i received my first semester transcript a few weeks ago, i noticed something i'd never seen before (but only heard of). It was typed in relatively small letters considering its grave importance and influence on my university experience and, ultimately, my future. It read "academic probation".
academic probation . . . me? But i'm an honour student, i've never failed a class before in my life, even though at time i've felt as though i would! How did this happen?!
Then i remember . . . Chemistry 30, that dreaded high school night course i have all but forced to attend twice a week since September in order to obtain one last university entrance course. I've had to take the bus to a campus, which is actually situated only 7 minutes away (in a car) but, on the bus, of course, it take nearly an hour! It's completely ridiculous and i can't help but loath the transit system here which causes at least 4 hours of my week to be wasted due to their inability to plan out appropriate bus routes.
Not only that, but, since i am not originally from Alberta i was unaware of their government exams required at the end of each high school class. They are worth 50% of your mark! That is a whole lot of information needed to be known, and for someone who was never very effective in the exam writing area, completely paralyzing!
I currently take great pride in my 70% average in that class, but knowing that in the next week i have one chapter test, one exam and one diploma to write in that class, i am aware of the danger and large possibility of failure.
Why is that the government here seems to work diligently in separating themselves from my, oh so favourable and more simple province. Do they take pride in screwing over innocent, vulnerable students who've taken refuge in their province? Cause if so, they have most definitely succeeded!
-down with your pompous laws, they drive me to extreme unbalanced mental activity-
academic probation . . . me? But i'm an honour student, i've never failed a class before in my life, even though at time i've felt as though i would! How did this happen?!
Then i remember . . . Chemistry 30, that dreaded high school night course i have all but forced to attend twice a week since September in order to obtain one last university entrance course. I've had to take the bus to a campus, which is actually situated only 7 minutes away (in a car) but, on the bus, of course, it take nearly an hour! It's completely ridiculous and i can't help but loath the transit system here which causes at least 4 hours of my week to be wasted due to their inability to plan out appropriate bus routes.
Not only that, but, since i am not originally from Alberta i was unaware of their government exams required at the end of each high school class. They are worth 50% of your mark! That is a whole lot of information needed to be known, and for someone who was never very effective in the exam writing area, completely paralyzing!
I currently take great pride in my 70% average in that class, but knowing that in the next week i have one chapter test, one exam and one diploma to write in that class, i am aware of the danger and large possibility of failure.
Why is that the government here seems to work diligently in separating themselves from my, oh so favourable and more simple province. Do they take pride in screwing over innocent, vulnerable students who've taken refuge in their province? Cause if so, they have most definitely succeeded!
-down with your pompous laws, they drive me to extreme unbalanced mental activity-
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Will the Return Reflect the Stay
My return here was eventful
It all began when i arrived at the airport at in which i was to depart from to return to university. My flight was not scheduled to leave until 4:30 and it was barely 2:30. I figured i'd check in, save a seat for my room mate next to me, and go relax and read. However, when i went to the counter they informed me that i was unable to save a seat for my room mate, because she'd beat me to it. She arrived before me and she saved ME a seat - a middle seat though, which is never fun, strange people on either side . . . One that i don't even know!!
So i checked in, received my ticket and made a quick walk around, searching for my long lost roomy, who was supposedly in that very airport at that exact moment! Yet i didn't find her . . . Perhaps she was already waiting at the terminal. So i went through security with no problems. I spose i just look like such a trusting and unsuspecting person that there was no reason to give me trouble.
I arrived at the terminal to find no sign of that girl. So i sat in the corner by myself with my iPod on and a book in my hands, praying that no creepers would decided to get friendly with me.
It was nearing 4 and still no sign of my room mate and supposed seat buddy. I wondered if perhaps she'd gone to the wrong terminal or, even worse, i was seated in the incorrect terminal?!
I checked, then checked again and then again for a 3rd time my ticket. And, to my surprise, each time i checked it, it was the same, and i was infact at the correct terminal. Then, finally, with only 5 minutes to spare before the 4 o'clock curfew that was given to us passengers, she strolls in, as if she had all the time in the world!
It turns out she's been at a restaurant this whole time, she said she glanced around a few times for me, but that was it. I don't blame her, she was probably making eyes with some hot-shot business man and didn't want me to intrude and remind her of her boyfriend that she would be seeing in just a few hours. Nah, i know she'd never do such a thing . . . he'd kill her.
We soon boarded the plane, me with the sinking feeling that i would soon be jammed between two others. My roommate on the other hand chatted non-stop (except for our quick, accidental mentioning of bombs) about her window seat and how much she enjoyed watching the clouds pass by and how she always had the worst luck and people would take her window seat. It was rather ironic that she told me that, for just a few minutes later we'd reached our seats only to find an elderly lady, clinging to a Harry Potter book and sitting comfortably in the window seat!
I laughed quietly to my self, so i wouldn't be smacked by my already agitated traveling buddy. We decided she had mistaken the aisle seat for the window seat, so we took the two vacant seats in that row. I soon discovered however that there was luggage occupying my storage space under the seat infront of me. I was unsure of how i should react to it. I decided that once the remainder of the passengers had found their seats i would try to get one of the stewardesses attention and ask her how i should go about it. Well, i never got around to that, because soon after i had mentally made that decision a young guy came to sit in his seat, which just happened to be the same one i was presently sitting in.
It turned out that the old lady was not in just the wrong seat, but in the wrong row as well. The stewardess (that spelling looks wrong . . . sorry, i am a horrible speller, as it is probably quite evident in my past [and present] blogs) allowed her to stay in her seat and the guy was willing to take her now available seat.
As much as i would have enjoyed to be seated next to a guy close to my age, when it comes to strangers i am quite shy and i was grateful of the empty space i obtained through the aisle.
We landed at 5:40, only 5 minutes later then our scheduled landing time. We quickly retrieved out luggage and began searching for our ride. After walking and searching the airport for nearly 20 minutes we decided we would grab some food. So we stopped at Tim Horton's, where i ordered and soon devoured my favourite sandwich.
We decided the best place to meet someone would be at the "rendez-vous meeting point" situated in the front of the airport. So we parked out luggage carts and had soon begun to entertain ourselves listening to music and, i'm almost too embarrassed to say, dancing around the 'rendez-vous meeting point'. Luckily, for my small remaining amount of dignity, the room was empty.
By 7 o'clock, and with no sign of our ride, we decided to make a phone call. We discovered that our ride had received inaccurate information regarding our arrival time, they thought we did not arrive until 9. And so they promised they would make there way to the airport right away. Upon hanging up we remembered that we had not indicated where we would be waiting for them. We figured though, that it would be a no brainer that one was to meet someone else at the large windowed in area called the 'randez-vous meeting place'.
More than an hour later, they still hadn't arrived. We continued looking out the window, yet no such luck. At 8:10 an announcement came over the P.A. calling us to the information station.
We made our way there and found my roommates boyfriend standing there, looking impatient (which he really had no reason to be, it was not him who'd been sitting in an airport for the past 2.5 hours!). Supposedly they had been searching for us for nearly 15 minutes, everywhere but where we were waiting.
We finally left the airport 3 hours after having arrived there. On the way home we stopped at the rich part of the city, and visited the nicest McDonald's i've ever seen, or probably ever see.
We finally arrived back at university . . . it is awesome to see everyone again, so many faces, people to see, friends to talk to, people dropping by at the window. Yet something is missing, dorm life just doesn't compare to what it was last year.
The reason for it . . . currently unknown, though i hope to overcome it soon.
If i feel like this for the remainder of the semester, i don't think i will last until April.
-here's for making it to the end of the year-
It all began when i arrived at the airport at in which i was to depart from to return to university. My flight was not scheduled to leave until 4:30 and it was barely 2:30. I figured i'd check in, save a seat for my room mate next to me, and go relax and read. However, when i went to the counter they informed me that i was unable to save a seat for my room mate, because she'd beat me to it. She arrived before me and she saved ME a seat - a middle seat though, which is never fun, strange people on either side . . . One that i don't even know!!
So i checked in, received my ticket and made a quick walk around, searching for my long lost roomy, who was supposedly in that very airport at that exact moment! Yet i didn't find her . . . Perhaps she was already waiting at the terminal. So i went through security with no problems. I spose i just look like such a trusting and unsuspecting person that there was no reason to give me trouble.
I arrived at the terminal to find no sign of that girl. So i sat in the corner by myself with my iPod on and a book in my hands, praying that no creepers would decided to get friendly with me.
It was nearing 4 and still no sign of my room mate and supposed seat buddy. I wondered if perhaps she'd gone to the wrong terminal or, even worse, i was seated in the incorrect terminal?!
I checked, then checked again and then again for a 3rd time my ticket. And, to my surprise, each time i checked it, it was the same, and i was infact at the correct terminal. Then, finally, with only 5 minutes to spare before the 4 o'clock curfew that was given to us passengers, she strolls in, as if she had all the time in the world!
It turns out she's been at a restaurant this whole time, she said she glanced around a few times for me, but that was it. I don't blame her, she was probably making eyes with some hot-shot business man and didn't want me to intrude and remind her of her boyfriend that she would be seeing in just a few hours. Nah, i know she'd never do such a thing . . . he'd kill her.
We soon boarded the plane, me with the sinking feeling that i would soon be jammed between two others. My roommate on the other hand chatted non-stop (except for our quick, accidental mentioning of bombs) about her window seat and how much she enjoyed watching the clouds pass by and how she always had the worst luck and people would take her window seat. It was rather ironic that she told me that, for just a few minutes later we'd reached our seats only to find an elderly lady, clinging to a Harry Potter book and sitting comfortably in the window seat!
I laughed quietly to my self, so i wouldn't be smacked by my already agitated traveling buddy. We decided she had mistaken the aisle seat for the window seat, so we took the two vacant seats in that row. I soon discovered however that there was luggage occupying my storage space under the seat infront of me. I was unsure of how i should react to it. I decided that once the remainder of the passengers had found their seats i would try to get one of the stewardesses attention and ask her how i should go about it. Well, i never got around to that, because soon after i had mentally made that decision a young guy came to sit in his seat, which just happened to be the same one i was presently sitting in.
It turned out that the old lady was not in just the wrong seat, but in the wrong row as well. The stewardess (that spelling looks wrong . . . sorry, i am a horrible speller, as it is probably quite evident in my past [and present] blogs) allowed her to stay in her seat and the guy was willing to take her now available seat.
As much as i would have enjoyed to be seated next to a guy close to my age, when it comes to strangers i am quite shy and i was grateful of the empty space i obtained through the aisle.
We landed at 5:40, only 5 minutes later then our scheduled landing time. We quickly retrieved out luggage and began searching for our ride. After walking and searching the airport for nearly 20 minutes we decided we would grab some food. So we stopped at Tim Horton's, where i ordered and soon devoured my favourite sandwich.
We decided the best place to meet someone would be at the "rendez-vous meeting point" situated in the front of the airport. So we parked out luggage carts and had soon begun to entertain ourselves listening to music and, i'm almost too embarrassed to say, dancing around the 'rendez-vous meeting point'. Luckily, for my small remaining amount of dignity, the room was empty.
By 7 o'clock, and with no sign of our ride, we decided to make a phone call. We discovered that our ride had received inaccurate information regarding our arrival time, they thought we did not arrive until 9. And so they promised they would make there way to the airport right away. Upon hanging up we remembered that we had not indicated where we would be waiting for them. We figured though, that it would be a no brainer that one was to meet someone else at the large windowed in area called the 'randez-vous meeting place'.
More than an hour later, they still hadn't arrived. We continued looking out the window, yet no such luck. At 8:10 an announcement came over the P.A. calling us to the information station.
We made our way there and found my roommates boyfriend standing there, looking impatient (which he really had no reason to be, it was not him who'd been sitting in an airport for the past 2.5 hours!). Supposedly they had been searching for us for nearly 15 minutes, everywhere but where we were waiting.
We finally left the airport 3 hours after having arrived there. On the way home we stopped at the rich part of the city, and visited the nicest McDonald's i've ever seen, or probably ever see.
We finally arrived back at university . . . it is awesome to see everyone again, so many faces, people to see, friends to talk to, people dropping by at the window. Yet something is missing, dorm life just doesn't compare to what it was last year.
The reason for it . . . currently unknown, though i hope to overcome it soon.
If i feel like this for the remainder of the semester, i don't think i will last until April.
-here's for making it to the end of the year-
Sunday, January 8, 2006
Unexplainable Actions
Before returning home for Christmas break i had had a brief conversation with one of my ex-boyfriends. He asked when i would be returning home and told me he'd like for us to see eachother during my visit. I was fairly surprised by this proposal because we had barely said anything to eachother since he'd left 8 months earlier. I agreed none the less- what harm would it to be to see him again after so long.
So here i am, only a day before i leave and we have neither seen eachother nor has he tried to contact me. My feelings for this are neither displeasure nor satisifaction but quite neutral. If he would have liked to see me, i would have been more then happy to visit with him aswell, but him not wanting this, does not upset me either.
This morning however, the situation changed. I was at the orthadontist for him to check my teeth after me being away for 4 months. Because we are a small town, the demand for a full time orthadontist is not required, so one from a nerby city comes in one weekend a month to check all the teeth in our town and the surrounding area. In a town of nearly 8000 and a number of smaller towns nearby, it isn't exactly an easy task for him. It gets busy, so when your appointment is at 10:45, you are lucky to get in by 11:15. Either way, everyone is aware of this and is always prepared to sit for a while. i brought my book.
So while i was sitting there, waiting for my turn (which i knew would only take about 45 seconds- enough time for him to ask how the retainer is fitting and then, because i'll tell him fine, he'll say 'excellent, keep wearing it everynight and i'll see you when you come home for summer break') guess who walks out from his appointment . . . the Ex!
It took me a few seconds to register who it was, and when i did, i stuck my head back in that book as fast as i could, praying he didn't see me look at him . . . I'm not for certain why i did that, but i figured, if he wanted to talk to me, he would do so.
My younger sister, who was sitting next to me, saw him and looked at me. She noted that he did endeed see me, and recognize me (which wouldn't be to difficult, i haven't changed in 8 months . . . not like him . . a full beard, what is he thinking?!) yet he said nothing to me, or even acknowledge me!
Maybe he felt the same way i did - what do i say-. But i must say, it was akward, i felt my cheeks and whole body heat up. I had a pressing desire to take off my jacket, but i was afraid to draw attention to myself . . .
So he ignored me, and i am . . . maybe it is a good thing that we never got together.
- i'll never fully understand myself-
So here i am, only a day before i leave and we have neither seen eachother nor has he tried to contact me. My feelings for this are neither displeasure nor satisifaction but quite neutral. If he would have liked to see me, i would have been more then happy to visit with him aswell, but him not wanting this, does not upset me either.
This morning however, the situation changed. I was at the orthadontist for him to check my teeth after me being away for 4 months. Because we are a small town, the demand for a full time orthadontist is not required, so one from a nerby city comes in one weekend a month to check all the teeth in our town and the surrounding area. In a town of nearly 8000 and a number of smaller towns nearby, it isn't exactly an easy task for him. It gets busy, so when your appointment is at 10:45, you are lucky to get in by 11:15. Either way, everyone is aware of this and is always prepared to sit for a while. i brought my book.
So while i was sitting there, waiting for my turn (which i knew would only take about 45 seconds- enough time for him to ask how the retainer is fitting and then, because i'll tell him fine, he'll say 'excellent, keep wearing it everynight and i'll see you when you come home for summer break') guess who walks out from his appointment . . . the Ex!
It took me a few seconds to register who it was, and when i did, i stuck my head back in that book as fast as i could, praying he didn't see me look at him . . . I'm not for certain why i did that, but i figured, if he wanted to talk to me, he would do so.
My younger sister, who was sitting next to me, saw him and looked at me. She noted that he did endeed see me, and recognize me (which wouldn't be to difficult, i haven't changed in 8 months . . . not like him . . a full beard, what is he thinking?!) yet he said nothing to me, or even acknowledge me!
Maybe he felt the same way i did - what do i say-. But i must say, it was akward, i felt my cheeks and whole body heat up. I had a pressing desire to take off my jacket, but i was afraid to draw attention to myself . . .
So he ignored me, and i am . . . maybe it is a good thing that we never got together.
- i'll never fully understand myself-
Friday, January 6, 2006
Adventures in a Small Town
It all began at 8:30 when the hockey game had concluded (with a 5-0 win for Canada!!!). We all grabbed our skates and mittens and headed to the outdoor rink around the corner. One of our party was a hockey player and has been for the past 15 years, he was quite comfortable in skates and is able to skate circles around the rest of us! Another wished he were a hockey player, he's able to skate and handle the puck, but is no competition for hockey players. The third member of the party, who is usually quite the tough guy, was relatively scared to be heading out onto the ice for his first time in nearly 10 years. This made the situation moderately easier for me. While i am nothing close to an experienced skater, i am able to stand and, for the most part, maneuver myself around the rink running into a very limited amount of people and injuring only one (myself!).
When we reached the rink we saw a number of skilled skaters practicing their moves for the world to see. Some of them must of been at least 8 years old, i knew, from the moment i saw them, i knew that this would not be an ego boosting experience, unless you were the 8 year old kids.
Skating lasted for nearly 2 hours, and by then, my toes were nearly ready to fall off. I guess it didn't help that i was wearing my 11 year old brothers skates. Though they fit surprisingly well *sigh*
We decided to head to Tim Hortons, 'the hangout' place in our hick-ville. On the way there, our night was about to have a twist of excitement! We were at one of the 6 stop lights in town when we noticed a foreign object hanging on the underside of a passing truck. Unsure of what it may be and and itch for adventure, we decided to follow the vehicle . . . it led us to a gas station, one which i had never visited before (which added greatly to such an exciting escapade we were undertaking). When we finally caught up to the truck and pulled along side we discovered, much to our disappointment that the foreign object that had once looked amazingly similar to a human being, was none other then an old piece of a tree, something quite common in their area.
With the adventure over we continued our trip to 'the hangout'. On the way the driver got a bit . . . confused and went through a red light! Oh it was extremely stimulating, an experience i will not soon forget!
We arrived at Tim's later then we had planned an the other part of our party had already ordered their drinks and found a seat. I ordered my large English Toffee (i can never remember which i prefer, english toffee or french vanilla . . . now that i think about it, i'm guessing its the vanilla one, i'll have to remember that next time . . .) and took a seat on the firm and extremly uncomfortable seats.
And there we sat, for 2 hours. And what did we talk about for that long, you may ask . . . it was all quite intriguing i assure you. I basically received the story line and most exciting quotes of over a dozen movies i have never seen, and now have no real urge to see.
It is rather fascinating how guys can memorize and then later quote every scene from every movie they have ever seen, yet are unable to remember a number or a date!
All in all it was an eventfull evening and it was summed up whe, on the way home we went through a second red light! We were lucky the cops were out searching for yet another troubled teen who was roaming our streets causing mischief. Thank God for small towns and their simple ways of life.
In just 4 days i will be returning to the big city were i will no longer be able to experience small town pleasures . . .
-small town girl living a small town life for a few more days-
When we reached the rink we saw a number of skilled skaters practicing their moves for the world to see. Some of them must of been at least 8 years old, i knew, from the moment i saw them, i knew that this would not be an ego boosting experience, unless you were the 8 year old kids.
Skating lasted for nearly 2 hours, and by then, my toes were nearly ready to fall off. I guess it didn't help that i was wearing my 11 year old brothers skates. Though they fit surprisingly well *sigh*
We decided to head to Tim Hortons, 'the hangout' place in our hick-ville. On the way there, our night was about to have a twist of excitement! We were at one of the 6 stop lights in town when we noticed a foreign object hanging on the underside of a passing truck. Unsure of what it may be and and itch for adventure, we decided to follow the vehicle . . . it led us to a gas station, one which i had never visited before (which added greatly to such an exciting escapade we were undertaking). When we finally caught up to the truck and pulled along side we discovered, much to our disappointment that the foreign object that had once looked amazingly similar to a human being, was none other then an old piece of a tree, something quite common in their area.
With the adventure over we continued our trip to 'the hangout'. On the way the driver got a bit . . . confused and went through a red light! Oh it was extremely stimulating, an experience i will not soon forget!
We arrived at Tim's later then we had planned an the other part of our party had already ordered their drinks and found a seat. I ordered my large English Toffee (i can never remember which i prefer, english toffee or french vanilla . . . now that i think about it, i'm guessing its the vanilla one, i'll have to remember that next time . . .) and took a seat on the firm and extremly uncomfortable seats.
And there we sat, for 2 hours. And what did we talk about for that long, you may ask . . . it was all quite intriguing i assure you. I basically received the story line and most exciting quotes of over a dozen movies i have never seen, and now have no real urge to see.
It is rather fascinating how guys can memorize and then later quote every scene from every movie they have ever seen, yet are unable to remember a number or a date!
All in all it was an eventfull evening and it was summed up whe, on the way home we went through a second red light! We were lucky the cops were out searching for yet another troubled teen who was roaming our streets causing mischief. Thank God for small towns and their simple ways of life.
In just 4 days i will be returning to the big city were i will no longer be able to experience small town pleasures . . .
-small town girl living a small town life for a few more days-
Thursday, January 5, 2006
My Eyes have been Opened
In this part of the country outdoor activities such as snowmobiling and four wheeling, are very common activities. My family has never owned either of these fancy contraptions so the only time we ever got to experiece the bliss of wind blowing through our hair and mud or snow hitting us in the face was when we were with friends.
These past two days however i've discovered why it is that my parents have always been unwilling to give into our plee for such pleasures. We would all be in full body casts within a day! My sisters drive with no sympathy for the innocent victims clinging to the dragging JT, swinging them around as if they were nothing but an insignificant piece of meat dangling on a rope.
While i was riding on one of the sleds behind the 4 wheeler (because we'd already damaged the snowmobile to the brink of complete broken-ness) my sister decided to bring me over a rather mountainous jump, containing little to no padding at the landing. Infact, the landing just happened to be a dirt road!
Now, looking at this logically, it is neither safe nor amusing to be hauled over a monstrous jump with no knowledge of where you will soon be lying (because the sled obviously will not stay beneath you).
Anyways, it caused tremendous amounts of pain at the time being, but i've recovered quickly. I guess it's helpful to have extra padding on your bottom. I guess it truly is a blessing.
Anyways, this has just been one of the many incidents occuring with such a toy. Any my mother, not even knowing about the majority of them, has continued on with her fight against our recieving of one. While i am moderatly upset with this decision it is an honourable fight and i support her stand. Besides, it saves money and allows us more excuses to go to visit friends!
-all things so have a reason!-
These past two days however i've discovered why it is that my parents have always been unwilling to give into our plee for such pleasures. We would all be in full body casts within a day! My sisters drive with no sympathy for the innocent victims clinging to the dragging JT, swinging them around as if they were nothing but an insignificant piece of meat dangling on a rope.
While i was riding on one of the sleds behind the 4 wheeler (because we'd already damaged the snowmobile to the brink of complete broken-ness) my sister decided to bring me over a rather mountainous jump, containing little to no padding at the landing. Infact, the landing just happened to be a dirt road!
Now, looking at this logically, it is neither safe nor amusing to be hauled over a monstrous jump with no knowledge of where you will soon be lying (because the sled obviously will not stay beneath you).
Anyways, it caused tremendous amounts of pain at the time being, but i've recovered quickly. I guess it's helpful to have extra padding on your bottom. I guess it truly is a blessing.
Anyways, this has just been one of the many incidents occuring with such a toy. Any my mother, not even knowing about the majority of them, has continued on with her fight against our recieving of one. While i am moderatly upset with this decision it is an honourable fight and i support her stand. Besides, it saves money and allows us more excuses to go to visit friends!
-all things so have a reason!-
Monday, January 2, 2006
revelation of the year
The opportunity to see old friends again is always an interesting one. It reminds you of past times you've had with them, the good and the bad. You wonder if you'll ever experience such times again. Times have changed, we've all began new lives all over the country and the connections just seem to have dissapeared, as if the friendship is being forced- to please someone.
It is a well known fact that most highschool friendships don't last long after graduation, especially when you come from a small town. My newest revelation has been that when your in a small town you have little choice of friends. There are a few specific groups, and, depending on important decisions you've made in your young life (such as the name brand of clothes you wear and how you choose to spend your weekends) you naturally fall into one of these groups, and in a way you are 'stuck' with your 'friends'. Though you have certain connections with these people, you are often very different and lack that important chemistry essential for a strong relationship.
When you go away to university or college you have the opportunity to meet so many diverse people from so many different back rounds, and instead of being 'stuck' with these friends, you are with them due to common interests, beliefs and morals. These new frienships change you. You've now had the chance to grow as a person and figure out who you REALLY are, or what you are supposed to be.
So, upon returning home for such occasions as this (Christmas) and the time to visit certain past aquaintances arrives, you are unsure of what to expect. Is it really worth experiencing?
I guess thats a question we all must ask ourselves and decide on our own . . .
-What's is worth to you?-
It is a well known fact that most highschool friendships don't last long after graduation, especially when you come from a small town. My newest revelation has been that when your in a small town you have little choice of friends. There are a few specific groups, and, depending on important decisions you've made in your young life (such as the name brand of clothes you wear and how you choose to spend your weekends) you naturally fall into one of these groups, and in a way you are 'stuck' with your 'friends'. Though you have certain connections with these people, you are often very different and lack that important chemistry essential for a strong relationship.
When you go away to university or college you have the opportunity to meet so many diverse people from so many different back rounds, and instead of being 'stuck' with these friends, you are with them due to common interests, beliefs and morals. These new frienships change you. You've now had the chance to grow as a person and figure out who you REALLY are, or what you are supposed to be.
So, upon returning home for such occasions as this (Christmas) and the time to visit certain past aquaintances arrives, you are unsure of what to expect. Is it really worth experiencing?
I guess thats a question we all must ask ourselves and decide on our own . . .
-What's is worth to you?-
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