Turning On the Waterworks

I have never been one to shed a lot of tears. Other than books and movies, few things fazed me. Now don't take this the wrong way, I cried when my grandparents died, and when me father got sick. But that was the extent of it.

This all changed about a year ago. I can't give you an exact date, but I often associate it with the start of Mason's and my relationship. Now this sounds bad, and Mason hates that I make that link, for some reason though, it just made sense. It wasn't that he was mean to me, abused me, or in anyway attempted to make me cry. It would just happen.

Tonight, after a number of defiant weeping episodes, I may have finally come up with a basis for this [emotional] madness.


When I read, or watch a movie, I get attached to the characters. There are times after a movie, that I find myself behaving like a character from it, reenacting certain scenes. And you saw from my early post how my books can take hold of my mind. It is for this reason that books and movies caused me to shed tears. To me, they weren't just a form of entertainment. I was invested in the characters, and their lives. So when one died, or had their heart broken, or some other dramatic event, I felt their pain as well.
I can be an extremely empathetic person.

Since Mason entered my life, my emotions seem to have gone haywire. Tonight, I think I have discovered the reason for this- emotional investment.
I've always been a guarded person, but he broke down my boundaries and has released the teary beast!

Thankfully, he is patient, and only teases me slightly for the seemingly pointless grounds for my tears.

~Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!~

You Dream what You Read

The other night I had a dream. Someone I loved was being held hostage (I have no idea who this person is, so from now on I'll call him/her Blair). So, of course, I was in pursuit of them. I discovered that Blair was being held by at least two men.  While one was distracted, I sneaked in to make my rescue.
The man that was holding Blair was no man at all, but one of my students- Abbott. Of course in my dream I wasn't a teacher, and he was not an 8 year old boy. But nonetheless, it freaked me out.
So I crept up behind Abbott with the notion that I was going to cut his throat... I won't go in to the gory details as they still give me the hibby jibbies. But I will have to remember next time I'm cutting someone's throat in a dream, I should remember to sharpen the blade.


Here I am, 3 days later, still slightly unnerved by this dream. I mean, I know that the hostage situation, and murdering was influenced by my choice of entertainment that night (I was watching season 1 of 24, and read The Hunger Games). But from where did my student come from? Why was he the one that I had to kill?
Do I need to visit a psychologist? Or am I just so into The Hunger Games, that subconsciously I'm experiencing what I imagine Katniss to be facing in having to kill those she cares about.


~I woke from that dream crying~