No Michael Buble :(

So last night our dorm activity was learning the basic steps used in ballroom dancing. I signed up to attend for the sole reason that this would be the introduction of the chocolate fountain and it seemed only fit that I were in attendance for such a celebration. The dancing, to me, was merely a method of wearing off the calories we would be consuming.
(though while dancing, one of my partners informed me that in order to wear of the energy one Smarty gives you, you'd have to walk around a football field twice- that is a lot of dancing! Darn science students)

However before the night began I was informed- first be an inside source and then later by the white board- that it was to be a black and white affair. *gag* I was not impressed! And furthermore, I did not have any black bottoms and white tops (my mother practically disallows my dressing in white due to my inevitable fate of staining it) here at school. One of my dear R.A.'s was kind enough to lend me a white top (even though I told her "me, white and chocolate do not mix") and gave me permission to wear my jeans :)

So I arrived at the dance with the intentions of eating tons of chocolate and then excusing myself before the dancing had begun. However I got dragged into it and soon found myself actually enjoying myself! Who knew that dancing could be fun!
And the chocolate was not disappointing either! :)






And for those of you who wish to see additional photo's of the night you can visit this blog below as you can always count on him to post and take more photos than I.

The Anguish of Words

And thanks to all those who were patient with my two left feet!


~I wish to live in the days of ballroom dancing, dance cards and no hip-hop~

Another Block on the Tower of Problems

In an early comment a friend asked me "what are you passionate about?"

And I stopped- what am I passionate about. I thought about it for quite some time, but nothing came. I decided to turn to the dictionary for assistance.

Passion: adj. strong and barely controllable emotion

Emotion is something that I don't show often, and if I do it's to an extreme.
But being passionate about something is not a feeling I believe I've felt. Sure there are things that I enjoy, but those feelings depend on my mood. There is nothing (well, other than chocolate) that I delight in unceasingly.

Is there something wrong with me?

-?Powerless for Passion?-

Not just because I wrote one about my Sisters

My brother is one of the coolest kids I know.

He is 7 years and 20 days younger than I. And I still recall the day he was born! Only weeks before I had made a wish on a 'magic friendship bracelet' that the baby in my mother's stomach would be a boy! (so everyone can thank me for the joy he brings)

One of the things I like most about him is that he truly does not care what other people think of him (which at his age is a big thing). He is involved in everything from Hockey to Youth Group to the Chess Club! (The whole chess club thing surprised me too, I just found out about that this afternoon!)

He is
brave -he's already transferred schools 3 times- where I was afraid of going to high school when all my friends were coming with me!
intelligent -he can kick my butt at any math question and he is in the chess club
loving -you should see him playing with younger children- he'll make a great babysitter one day
creative -he's invented some the most inovative games I have ever tried to comprehend
entertaining -I've had friends ask if they could rent him for entertainment
. . . the list could continue on for ages but I realize that you all probably don't want to hear me ramble on about my brother.

But I know you all want to meet him!

~sometimes having a brother is even better then having a superhero~

Sisters

I am the eldest of four children. Three of us being girls, and than the fortunate youngest- the boy!
Being away at university- nearly 20 hours from home- provides little time to spend with my family, it is tough, but we get by with emails, phone calls and the great technology of MSN.

Today I was blessed to have received an email from one sister and share some quick words on msn with the other.

The email was genius (I really wonder where my dear sisters learned such writing skills!) and insightful! For my sister- a large supporter of anti-boy views- has given me relationship advice. Where did she learn it you may ask- from a book of course, where else! She said :
I've figure you out. Your not afraid of commitment you are just afraid of being trapped in the relationship. You want freedom and relationship together. And every guy you've liked and went out with kept trying to get a big commitment out of you so you felt trapped. So you pulled away a little to see if you had any freedom left and they chased you harder. You just have to find some one who gives you space when you pull away that will let you know that you still have freedom and then be like but why isn't he trying to get me back and you'll start wanting a commitment from him. See all problems solved.

For now I remain impartial to such advice, but it is an interesting concept.

As for my other dear sister, I have not received an email from her in a while, but she still cheers me up when ever I talk with her. This is what the end of our conversation resembled this evening :

HER:?
alright, much love to you too dearling, rock edmonton to shreds love you bunny!!!!?
?
?ME:?
lol . . . bunny?
?
?HER:?
that's right, it's a compliment too
?

My love for them grows each day, as does my yearning for them.


~I pity those without sisters, for who than can make you laugh and cry at the same time ~

"I've got you Under my Spell"

It saddens me to hear of people who cannot appreciate what country (or any other genre which they haven't given a fair chance) music has to offer. They judge it by a few songs they've heard and assume they are all equivalent to that. I do not feel I pressure others to listen to my music, but I do delight in sharing with them quality country music.

My family was my first victim! They were not aficionado in the slightest, but through my eager persuasions they found a new appreciation for it, and for now, that is all I can ask. And it always makes my day to hear that they are listening to my music at home and thinking about me!
SUCCESS

Last year, as school commenced, my roommate told me of her disfavour with some of my style of music. Slowly I presented my favourites, and, when there were no complaints, I continued to introduce more and more, until one day she admitted she quite enjoyed country!
SUCCESS!

More success came when a good friend of mine bought his very own country CD, without even my knowledge!
SUCCESS!

Next, a dear friend of mine, openly revealed his feelings for the Dixie Chicks and their music when he first played the CD I made for him in his care with his male friends AND sang along. Then when he joined me in my adventure to the Dixie Chicks' concert this summer! He was equally as excited as I was to be experiencing such an amazing band first hand!
SUCCESS


Most recently my dear might-as-well-be roommate came to me wanting to borrow some good music. Moments later I heard Dixie Chicks blaring from across the hall.
SUCCESS

What I like to see :) Welcome to the dark side!


~ sometime I surprise myself at how manipulative I can be ~
*wink*

What's the Delay?!

Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified;
do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will
be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

Life is full of twists and turns. No matter where you go or who you are with- there are going to be times that you loath the situation you are in.


So here I am school. Second year of university. Why am I here? That's a good question, one that I can only answer with, "God only knows". I have no idea what I want to do with me future . . . well, there is none that I feel passionately about. And I am still searching frantically for that God-given-talent that, as a child, we are all told we have.
I've seen people who's talent is public speaking.
People who's talent is music.
People who's talent is caring and loving, patience and support.
There are people who seem to have a God-given-talent in everything they do!
It is frustrating sometimes. And I can't help be envious of those people. I know that God will reveal his plan for me in his perfect time . . . but I'm not a patient girl!


~...those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength...~

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" -Puck

This morning, as I was preparing for my day, I had this sudden sense that I was somehow taller today than yesterday. Could it be . . . Is it possible?!
I examined myself in the mirror. I appeared taller than I recalled! A smile materialized upon my face- it had been a dream of mine to grow ever since my youngest sister had passed me in height! Then my eyes fell to the bottom of my pants where they were cuffed, in the same place they always had been. And they weren't too short. :(
My senses had once again fooled me!
(doesn't it feel good to be a fool)


As I was seated here this afternoon, working on an essay, the song "Getting There" by Terri Clark began to play on Pandora. These lyrics caught my attention :
You want an answer as soon as you say a prayer
You want to land the moment you're in the air
Baby the living is all in the Getting There

It's true you know . . . I'm often guilty of it myself- wanting so much for the answer or the end to come that I want to skip the process of achieving those things. But the 'getting there' is the joys, the cries, the ups and the downs, the memories that make life.

~be a fool- live your life!~

this is what happens when you go to the bathroom

this is fun...ha ha ha GO DUCKS GO

Guidance

'So it was not you who sent me here, but God' (Genesis. 45:8)
God's plan is far beyond us- we are taken and used, like Joseph.

'Be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God - what is good and acceptable and perfect' (Romans 12:2)
Prayer is a way that God guides us. Just be close to Him, open your heart, your soul and your mind to what he has to say.

'If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit' (Galatians 5:25)
Let us walk and move in the grace of God, doing all things for and with Him.

'And all this works together for our good and his good, and the good of others' (Romans 8:28).
Every situation that we find ourselves in, whether it be good or bad, painful or joyful, will somehow, in some way, work out to be His perfect plan, and ultimately bring glory to God.


Everyone goes through rough times, or find ourselves in tough situations where we are stumped, and have no idea what to do. You may think that one way is better than the other . . . but the constant haze in your mind is no help.
Praying for guidance seems to be getting old. You know that God answers all prayers in his perfect time . . .
Sometimes, i feel like there is no time left, and i wonder "did i miss God's guidance?"


-stop looking for something that's been right in front of you all along-

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Fear (n) - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Fear (v) - be afraid of something or someone as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.

Fear is a perfectly natural part of life. Everyone, at some point in their life has felt fear.
There are also some people who's fears surpass the average and become phobias.
But I wonder, at what point is it considered a phobia?

As for me, two of my greatest fears are public speaking and commitment.
When either of these are mentioned when referring to me, I become uneasy. I begin to shake, my throat contrasts and my breathing becomes raspy, I get an upset stomach and I feel as if I could easily slip out of consciousness.
I am like the 'stereotypical guy'- runs at the first sign of commitment and/or marriage!

Experts say the only way to over come ones fears is to face it. Just thinking about that begins this whole process over again.
To face these fears- would that mean I would have to place myself in a relationship requiring great commitment?
Must I deliver a speech to a large crowd?

Is there no other way to conquer fears?

~ignorance is slowly becoming my best policy~

$ $ $

Money.

The love of Money is the root to all evil.
Money is also the most lusted after object in our world- the dream for nearly every living person. The believe of "if only we had more money, THEN we'd be happy"governs the minds of men and women alike.
Children, and even some adults, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, often answer "rich".
What's the point?

But . . .
with money you could always purchase your very own NHL team!
Or so I discovered yesterday when my sister informed me that my cousin has purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins, and is now working on moving them to Kitchener Ontario!

see for yourself!

I was dumbstruck when I read about this. And it made me wonder, is there really any joy in possessing that much money. It is far too much money for them to even know what to do with, enough that they need not think twice about buying an NHL team! Such a wealth is all but a dream for the majority of the world, but for those few people who have it, it is merely reality.

-it is easier for camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get to heaven-

:O OUCH :O

He hung up on me- that JERK!

So, for the first time ever- in my entire life- someone hung up the phone on me! And didn't even call me back! I did not even commit an unforgivable act which would have almost given him a logical motive for commiting such a horrible act!
It was almost as if he just didn't want to hear me anymore!

Is that even possible?

:| I am stunned! My mind is blank- how to respond?!

Perhaps, if he truly does not wish to talk to me I shall just stop talking to him- do him a favour, see how he feels then!

Perhaps if he could apologize without laughing we would be in a different situation . . . but until then, I hope he enjoys silence!

~and it is not even that I talk that much!~