Home is to be familiar...

They have been calling for snow for days, yet still, here we are with minimal amounts and snow clouds slowly passing us by. How dismal.

I'm currently home, in the land of snow (ha, not this year), mouthwatering food and familiar strangers.

Which reminds me...
I took a short drive last night, to take a quick gander through the movie store, before choosing a movie for my Girls Night with my sisters. At the counter, where I was paying for the overpriced movie, a guy stood behind me. I turned to see him, but than turned back when I did not recognize him, but began talking to me and asking how I was doing and in a familiar tone, as if at some point in our past, we knew each other.
Even after my second take, nowhere in my mind was there a glimmer of familiarity about him. He was tall (well, taller than me), wearing an army jacket and a [black?] toque. He had a friendly round face and a fair complexion and I imagined he had blonde hair hidden beneath the toque. His age remains a controversial issue [in my mind], but I imagine he is within a two year radius of my own, whether that be older or younger.

*puzzled look*

It is a profoundly disturbing feeling for me to not recognize a face, I feel dreadful. I hope he did not notice the look of great uncertainty across my brow.

Perhaps I am going crazy...

~there truly was a whole in my laniard~

What a Beautiful day for a Rant

As today is one of my favourite days of the year I have decided to allow it to inspire me...


As many of you are aware of, and often reminded of, I possess a great abhorrence towards a certain team- if you can call them that- or group of people.

Cheerleaders.


Now, I am no english scholar, but in analyzing this word I see that 'cheerleader' is a compound word which suggests [to me] someone who LEADS CHEERS (shocker, I know).

The dictionary defines a cheerleader as:
-a person who leads cheers and applause esp. at a sports event
-an enthusiastic and vocal supporter

Unfortunately (or is it?), according to all I've seen from cheerleaders, I would define them as:
-(for the most part) well proportioned girl, enthusiastic about dancing around in small amounts of clothing, in an evocative fashion.
(at least the enthusiasm is consistent)

Nowhere do I see 'cheering' or 'leaders'. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the only leading these girls do is the prompting of thoughts/fantasies to inappropriate meditations.

Of all the cheerleaders I have personally experienced, I have seen them do nothing but enthusiasm in the flaunting of their well proportioned body around in hope of attracting attention their way. Of course, when they position themselves in the centre of the playing area (whether it be a court, a field...), it is difficult to not pay them SOME attention, now whether this be attention affiliated with approval or distaste depends on the patron.

I believe that in order to be an effective cheerleader they are not to attract attention to themselves but to the team/activity they are cheering for. Which also suggests that they are to CHEER- throwing each other around between games do nothing to build up and support the team.

Though few they may be, there are exceptions to every rule.
And to all those I may have offended... call us even.

~find a way to shine without extinguishing other's~

don't waste your heart -DC

i didn't mean to cause you pain
-DC


what went wrong
why this end
when all was possible
but nothing probable
now wasting away into oblivion


we all knew we were in for a long hard ride
nowhere to run and nowhere to hide [it seemed]
-DC


my heart belonging to no one
kept numb in the freezer of fears
buried beneath selfish acts and lust


Things can move at such a pace
The second hand just waved goodbye
-DC


the fantasy in full swing
generates eons of agony
when reality is impeled on us


pat on the back n better luck next time
-DC


to end only with less than ever before



~forever changed by someone i never knew (DC)~

Broken Wings Hinder

Emotionally & Physically drained...

I don't feel as if I can survive till the end of the day, let alone till next Friday. There is little getting me though each day (except the prospect of bowling with two uniquely awesome people, and the reality of seeing the ones I love).

There have been countless times this past week where I have both felt and wished that I would die. Some of these auras have been more prominent than others, but either way, they have not being enjoyable and I would never wish them on my greatest enemy.

More tears have fallen
More hearts have broken
There is little left for tomorrow

To all those out there who have shared comparable weeks... I am sincerely sorry. I hope and pray that we cross this valley to the mountain in the distance as soon as God desires so. Such hikes are equally tiresome, as dangerous. The darkness and depression easily consumes the weak.
Remember not to travel alone and to continually look up, for the sun and mountains are hiding in those clouds.


~'I will never leave you nor forsake you': promises from above~

Welcome Home

naked
exposed to the world
defenseless in all regards
no where to hide
no where to run
alone in the crowd


powerless
all authority terminated
never again to be restored
left utterly dejected
left utterly forsaken
eyes opened for the first time


crushed
knocked down and forgotten
embraced in the world’s impurities
unable to stand
unable to decamp
ostracized from this perverse society



~laugh cry and die~

Life as Few Know it

pain is inevitable, love an impostor
and friends can be replaced
why then is there ample amounts of significance
placed on their presence?

the world is deceitful, our minds tainted
and our hearts misinterpreted
yet we consider ourselves superior
looking down on our own kind

nothing lasts forever, all things fade
and become unrecognizable
still we embrace such things with force
as if all depends upon it

Hate Reflecting in My Eyes

hate pierces through my heart
judgments extend from all sides
assumptions are made
names are spoken
and a part of me slips away

my face reflects pain
i blink, desperate to hide the tears
quivering lips keep me mute
silence governing the unsettled feelings

is there no place for protection
will no one reach out
offering another chance
for even as my reflection stares back at me
i find no peace, no solace there