Turning On the Waterworks

I have never been one to shed a lot of tears. Other than books and movies, few things fazed me. Now don't take this the wrong way, I cried when my grandparents died, and when me father got sick. But that was the extent of it.

This all changed about a year ago. I can't give you an exact date, but I often associate it with the start of Mason's and my relationship. Now this sounds bad, and Mason hates that I make that link, for some reason though, it just made sense. It wasn't that he was mean to me, abused me, or in anyway attempted to make me cry. It would just happen.

Tonight, after a number of defiant weeping episodes, I may have finally come up with a basis for this [emotional] madness.


When I read, or watch a movie, I get attached to the characters. There are times after a movie, that I find myself behaving like a character from it, reenacting certain scenes. And you saw from my early post how my books can take hold of my mind. It is for this reason that books and movies caused me to shed tears. To me, they weren't just a form of entertainment. I was invested in the characters, and their lives. So when one died, or had their heart broken, or some other dramatic event, I felt their pain as well.
I can be an extremely empathetic person.

Since Mason entered my life, my emotions seem to have gone haywire. Tonight, I think I have discovered the reason for this- emotional investment.
I've always been a guarded person, but he broke down my boundaries and has released the teary beast!

Thankfully, he is patient, and only teases me slightly for the seemingly pointless grounds for my tears.

~Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!~

From Thought to Tree in 0.3

I have an overactive imagination. Plant the smallest notion of an idea in my mind through either word or deed, and within moments you could have a fully developed outcome. A future with a house, car, white picket fence and family of 5.

The majority of the time however, my train of thought is ridiculous and completely unrealistic. For some reason, unlike the movies, the end result of a chance meeting, or locked eyes cannot be realized fifteen minutes into it. Love, wealth and happiness are not an everyday occurrence, in fact, there is not even a guarantee of a happy ending.

My imagination however, is ignorant of this. Of reality. Though I have never been put under a spell to be awoken only by true love's kiss, or had a fairy godmother dress me in sparkles and send me off in a pumpkin carriage. That which I want, think, dream, and imagine is rarely that which occurs.
Life seems to differ somewhat from my dreams...


~your longterm thinking can be so... short term~

So I've Been Told

Ideas and Thinking- oh no!

http://weheartit.com

By the power invested in me by my father's title, I have thus diagnosed myself. I, Lauren, a self proclaimed reader, are suffering from ideas of grandeur. Visions of my own place, responsibility, and a real job have misguided me. In actual fact, I'm still a child! 

I am ignorant and naive of the real world. Realities like taxes, RRSPs, health benefits are mere terms to me. What is their purpose? How do I apply them? 

My understanding of the world is limited to small towns and a student's life. I had not yet cut ties with my bonds, the comfort of knowing I'm loved and cared for no matter what was my rock, the foundation on which I tread. And while I know that love changes not at this time, the attachment has been stretched to nearly unrecognizable lengths. 

Pop culture has romanticized growing up, life, and moving out. As per usual, however, country music has it right :

so here I am in my new apartment

In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up

I wish I'd never grown up

Thank you Taylor for once again writing to and for me.

~sitting alone in the dark~

A live, breathing, functioning Girl

We're not creepers, we just like to be aware of our surroundings, familiar with the going-ons of those around us. It provides a comfortable bubble of sorts. This way we know what to expect, and what sorts of activities and signs might suggest assistance is required (our the need for us to seek shelter). Really it is what makes us good neighbours.
I've previously mentioned our neighbours (Ugly Naked Guy and Greasy Computer Guy). My roommates and I had the... unfortunate experience of being witness to much of their personal life. Thankfully, it has been a while since such an incident has occurred.

The other day, however, I witnessed a most unusual event. As I was heading downstairs, I looked out our window that faced UNG and GCG house and what did I see- a GIRL taking out the trash!
Instantly the following quote from Beauty and the Beast popped into mind.

Chip: Momma, there's a girrrrl in the castle!
Mrs. Potts: Now Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.
Chip: But really, momma, I saw her.
Mrs. Potts: Not another word. Into the tub.
3rd party: A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!
Chip: See, I told ya!

Now I am not comparing any of the people involved to a disney character (I wish!). My point is, that Kara and I (for as soon as I saw her I called for her to come see as well, this way they had to believe me!) were about as shocked as Mrs. Potts to find a girl in that vicinity.
She was no Belle... I'm sure that we could come up with some nickname for her as well, maybe something relating to the colours in her hair. But for now we will remain shocked, and keep our eyes peeled for a second showing of this seemingly miraculous creature.

~Here in town there's only she, who is beautiful as me, so I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle~

A Magic Carpet Ride

I once was satisfied with 'something', because at least 'something' was better than nothing. This way I was only partially lonely, and periodically felt important. On good days I could believe that I was wanted, and someone would be there fighting for me. I thought that we were still young, and expecting anything more than that was outrageous and unreasonable. We just needed time to grow up.

Now that I have 'everything' I see that having only 'something' diminished my self worth. Who knew that there was someone out there who wanted this too, and openly acknowledged it! I now see all is better than some. To be treated like you matter all the time beats occasional value any day. And who knew there was someone who willingly put your happiness over theirs! I thought I could only find this in the fictional world!


~A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view~