brainwashed

i want to write a truth, but i don't know where to start

for what is true to me, may be in your eyes flawed

one day it overwhelms my heart

the next, impales it

is it true when it's inconsistent

i want to find a truth, but i don't know where to start

you promise to show me, but i see only deception

for an instance i believe

until i crash and burn

for how would you know, with a heart like yours

i want to believe in truth, but i don't know how to start

when each promise ends in despair

i've been disillusioned

and mislead by the master

naive enough to fancy you it's angel

~caught in the shadows of a lie~

Someone forgot the Instruction Manual

so here i find myself in a rigid, uninviting chair gawking at the confound view which lay directly ahead of me. i'm surrounded by knobs, buttons, and leavers of all shapes, sizes, and colours.  

there is no omniscient voice calling to me, or any posted instructions, yet some i know what i must do: one of these gadgets is the power giving source, that which will bring to life this machine i have found myself in and start me down the path awaiting me. 

i give a quick sweep of the area, looking for the button which resembles the stereotypical start button you see in all the movies: large, circular, red... but i don't see it, at least it doesn't jump out at me the way it is suppose to.

the choices are insurmountable, if i even attempted to test each option i'd waste away in this cheerless throne.  i realize that it is more than reasonable to make a few poor choices, but too many and i could cause irreparable damage, and with that, i'd never make it anywhere beyond the repair shop.

peering out the expansive windshield i notice some of my peers starting-up and taking-off. they've deciphered their machine and are now free to proceed beyond this baron wasteland. 

i radio out to my fellow captains, but it seems that each machine is distinct to their pilot, and only advice and encouragement is shared (which, in such a position as this, is found to be quite overrated)

and so here i remain, still dumbfounded by that which surrounds me. once in a while another departure outside my window catches my eye, and with each of these, my spirits diminish a little bit more.

off they go to the bigger, and better. here i sit with the innumerable options staring down at me.

~sleepless and adrift at the wheel~