Ok, so . . . here was the random question of the day :
"so, is there a boy back at home who has your heart? or . . . is there a boy here who has your heart?"
what a question to ask! Especially out of the blue like that . . . my answer was . . . ~silence~
what else was i to say?!
realization of the day :
'who needs boys- all they do is spit, cuss and cheat, besides, chocolate is much more satisfying'
Monday, February 27, 2006
Shower Time
Normally, when one takes a shower while others in the same building are also enjoying the luxury of a shower at the same time, using water from the same water tanks, there is a limited amount of hot water to be shared among the residents.
Here, it is a different story.
I entered my shower this morning only moments after two others had began their showers next to me. I was prepared for reduced water pressure, but it never occurred.
Instead, I turned on the water, with the knob pointed at its normal temperature, and it was scorching! (I was very glad I had turned it on before climbing in!)
I did my best to turn it to a manageable temperature before entering the facility.
During my pleasant shower, my neighbour finished before me. And most often, when you are finished with the shower, you turn the water off. When that happened I new instantly for the temperature dropped a number of degrees, waking me from my near slumber.
I quickly turned to correct the temperature when my other neighbour ended her shower!
I nearly screamed!
It fell a few more degrees!
What's the reason for the drastic temperature change? I'd understand more so if the temperature increased with the fewer amount of showers running, but a decrease?
whatever the reason it puzzles me, perhaps I have my temperatures confused, is there not a name for that abnormality?
-I should find a doctor-
Here, it is a different story.
I entered my shower this morning only moments after two others had began their showers next to me. I was prepared for reduced water pressure, but it never occurred.
Instead, I turned on the water, with the knob pointed at its normal temperature, and it was scorching! (I was very glad I had turned it on before climbing in!)
I did my best to turn it to a manageable temperature before entering the facility.
During my pleasant shower, my neighbour finished before me. And most often, when you are finished with the shower, you turn the water off. When that happened I new instantly for the temperature dropped a number of degrees, waking me from my near slumber.
I quickly turned to correct the temperature when my other neighbour ended her shower!
I nearly screamed!
It fell a few more degrees!
What's the reason for the drastic temperature change? I'd understand more so if the temperature increased with the fewer amount of showers running, but a decrease?
whatever the reason it puzzles me, perhaps I have my temperatures confused, is there not a name for that abnormality?
-I should find a doctor-
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The Date
A date has been set, April 28 th, 2006.
It seems so far away. Can we wait that long? or should we attempt to change it so it is closer and the anticipation will cease to cause such stress and pain.
If it were not so far away, relatives could stop calling, mom would have little reason to cry and my mind could be put at ease.
But is that possible, this date was set as the one in which best fit into the schedules.
When dealing with a situation of such intensity and demand, it is difficult to say which is the best way to approach it and, ultimately, deal with it.
Whichever way we decide to take, i will be very thankful when it is all over.
-the sooner the better?-
It seems so far away. Can we wait that long? or should we attempt to change it so it is closer and the anticipation will cease to cause such stress and pain.
If it were not so far away, relatives could stop calling, mom would have little reason to cry and my mind could be put at ease.
But is that possible, this date was set as the one in which best fit into the schedules.
When dealing with a situation of such intensity and demand, it is difficult to say which is the best way to approach it and, ultimately, deal with it.
Whichever way we decide to take, i will be very thankful when it is all over.
-the sooner the better?-
Friday, February 24, 2006
it's Manda's fault
ok so, perhaps i'm slightly bored aswell . . . :)
if you have time in your busy sceduals, check it out, please . . .
http://kevan.org/johari?name=HotPinkSnowAngel
if you have time in your busy sceduals, check it out, please . . .
http://kevan.org/johari?name=HotPinkSnowAngel
Random Thoughts
Anyone who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown up and down by the wind.
-James 1:6-
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.
-girls got gold-
Do boys go after girls they like
or girls they think they can get?
-it puzzles me-
Is it not deplorable for serious athletes to be accessive drinkers?
Is it not extremly unhealthy?
-bottoms up-
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
-anytime now . . .-
If you were meant to fly, God would have given you wings
-so fly away-
Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow.
We must fail in order to know.
We must lose in order to gain.
Some lessons are learned best through pain.
-can't there be an easier way?-
Some problems get so big that you can't budge them.
You feel like an old beater car stuck in a trash smasher.
The walls are closing in!
No escape routes!
AHHHHHHH
-Trust God-
-James 1:6-
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.
-girls got gold-
Do boys go after girls they like
or girls they think they can get?
-it puzzles me-
Is it not deplorable for serious athletes to be accessive drinkers?
Is it not extremly unhealthy?
-bottoms up-
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
-anytime now . . .-
If you were meant to fly, God would have given you wings
-so fly away-
Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow.
We must fail in order to know.
We must lose in order to gain.
Some lessons are learned best through pain.
-can't there be an easier way?-
Some problems get so big that you can't budge them.
You feel like an old beater car stuck in a trash smasher.
The walls are closing in!
No escape routes!
AHHHHHHH
-Trust God-
What could be more relaxing
The day began before I had even retired to bed.
After little sleep, I was maliciously awaken from my deep slumber. At that point I began a rushed hectic day.
First, I packed in less then 20 minutes.
By 7:30 am, I was seated in a car headed west . . . Which continued for four additional hours.
Upon arriving at the airport, we journeyed to a restaurant, where, once again, we sat for nearly an hour.
Due to an unavoidable paper jam, my wait at the terminal left me no relaxing time before I was sentenced to over 2 hours of further time spent sitting (this time, in a jet, seated next to a guy from Windsor).
Upon arriving at the next airport, I discovered that, due to the weather, my flight was delayed nearly an hour.
So, I spent 2 hours on an airport terminal chair, waiting (as patiently as was humanly possible for me at that point) for my flight to arrive.
It eventually arrived and I rushed to my seat (though rushing did nothing to hurry along the process- it appeared that every other passenger had all the time in the world to waste in an airport terminal!) only to find I was to be seated next to the same guy as I was on the attachment flight (not necessarily a unsatisfactory experience).
And so, I spent even further time in a plane.
When I ultimately arrived at my final destination (as far as an aircraft was concerned) I was blessed to have my luggage within the first 150 to appear on the luggage belt!
To finalize my travels, I rode in a taxi for 45 minutes (which cost nearly $55) to find myself arriving as late as humanly possible, without being completely late, at work!
Thank God for safe travels, even though they were not under the most enjoyable of conditions.
It can always be worse . . .
-I only wish I was not so excessively tired which presently prevents me from fulfilling my substantial need for sleep-
After little sleep, I was maliciously awaken from my deep slumber. At that point I began a rushed hectic day.
First, I packed in less then 20 minutes.
By 7:30 am, I was seated in a car headed west . . . Which continued for four additional hours.
Upon arriving at the airport, we journeyed to a restaurant, where, once again, we sat for nearly an hour.
Due to an unavoidable paper jam, my wait at the terminal left me no relaxing time before I was sentenced to over 2 hours of further time spent sitting (this time, in a jet, seated next to a guy from Windsor).
Upon arriving at the next airport, I discovered that, due to the weather, my flight was delayed nearly an hour.
So, I spent 2 hours on an airport terminal chair, waiting (as patiently as was humanly possible for me at that point) for my flight to arrive.
It eventually arrived and I rushed to my seat (though rushing did nothing to hurry along the process- it appeared that every other passenger had all the time in the world to waste in an airport terminal!) only to find I was to be seated next to the same guy as I was on the attachment flight (not necessarily a unsatisfactory experience).
And so, I spent even further time in a plane.
When I ultimately arrived at my final destination (as far as an aircraft was concerned) I was blessed to have my luggage within the first 150 to appear on the luggage belt!
To finalize my travels, I rode in a taxi for 45 minutes (which cost nearly $55) to find myself arriving as late as humanly possible, without being completely late, at work!
Thank God for safe travels, even though they were not under the most enjoyable of conditions.
It can always be worse . . .
-I only wish I was not so excessively tired which presently prevents me from fulfilling my substantial need for sleep-
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
True or False
Here are a few things I've been informed of in the past but am presently unsure of their full authenticity :
1. Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
2. Boys who are friends with girls always have, in the back of their mind (sometimes subconsciously), intentions to be more than 'just friends'
3. When girls say they are 'fine' that means something is wrong
4. The way to a mans heart is through is stomach
5. A guy falls in love with his eyes, and a girl falls in love with her ears
6. Guys prefer girls to have long hair
7. Almost anything can remind guys of girls and sex
8. Boys like a challenge, even in girls
1. Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
2. Boys who are friends with girls always have, in the back of their mind (sometimes subconsciously), intentions to be more than 'just friends'
3. When girls say they are 'fine' that means something is wrong
4. The way to a mans heart is through is stomach
5. A guy falls in love with his eyes, and a girl falls in love with her ears
6. Guys prefer girls to have long hair
7. Almost anything can remind guys of girls and sex
8. Boys like a challenge, even in girls
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Reality?
It takes a long time to truly trust someone.
There are very few people I would say I trusted with my life, and those who have managed to reach that point, did not travel on an easy road.
I don't intentionally doubt people, it is merely an approach I've followed since I was young, since i had reasons to mistrust.
They say bad things happen for a reason, and the best you can do is learn from them. Perhaps this is my form of 'learning'. Just because it is not the way in which everyone else behaves, doesn't mean I am at fault.
It is simply a way to protect myself.
So, once someone has reached the stage of 'I trust you completely', there should be no chance to be hurt by them, correct?
NO
Humans are imperfect, and you can never completely trust their word, no matter how well you think you may know them.
If that is so, then, is there even a point to give people chances, if the reality is that they are, at some point, going to let you down? To hurt you and cause this viscious cycle to begin again?
-I have no need for friendship; friendship causes pain-
Isn't there a song about this?
What am I thinking, there are probably billions of songs about this!
There are very few people I would say I trusted with my life, and those who have managed to reach that point, did not travel on an easy road.
I don't intentionally doubt people, it is merely an approach I've followed since I was young, since i had reasons to mistrust.
They say bad things happen for a reason, and the best you can do is learn from them. Perhaps this is my form of 'learning'. Just because it is not the way in which everyone else behaves, doesn't mean I am at fault.
It is simply a way to protect myself.
So, once someone has reached the stage of 'I trust you completely', there should be no chance to be hurt by them, correct?
NO
Humans are imperfect, and you can never completely trust their word, no matter how well you think you may know them.
If that is so, then, is there even a point to give people chances, if the reality is that they are, at some point, going to let you down? To hurt you and cause this viscious cycle to begin again?
-I have no need for friendship; friendship causes pain-
Isn't there a song about this?
What am I thinking, there are probably billions of songs about this!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy Singles Awarness Day!
Personally i think that Valentines day is just a pointless 'holiday' invented by Hallmark.
If you truly care for someone, you should not need a special day to tell them. You should tell them whenever you feel it.
Some argue that they do share their feelings with that 'special someone all the time' but Valentines day is a 'nice idea'.
A nice idea is not a 'romantic holiday' a nice idea is . . . a huge chocolate cake! (like the one i got from the caff today!)
If you want a special day to share with your loved ones, it should be a special day to the two of you, not to be shared with the rest of the romantics of the world!
The part i savour about this day is the amount of chocolate that circulates and most often, ends up within my grasp!
The amount of chocolate definitely aids in the dealing with the number of 'happy couples' surrounding us now 'awared singles'.
-bring on the chocolate, but keep your 'holiday'-
If you truly care for someone, you should not need a special day to tell them. You should tell them whenever you feel it.
Some argue that they do share their feelings with that 'special someone all the time' but Valentines day is a 'nice idea'.
A nice idea is not a 'romantic holiday' a nice idea is . . . a huge chocolate cake! (like the one i got from the caff today!)
If you want a special day to share with your loved ones, it should be a special day to the two of you, not to be shared with the rest of the romantics of the world!
The part i savour about this day is the amount of chocolate that circulates and most often, ends up within my grasp!
The amount of chocolate definitely aids in the dealing with the number of 'happy couples' surrounding us now 'awared singles'.
-bring on the chocolate, but keep your 'holiday'-
Monday, February 13, 2006
Multi-use toothbrush?
How often do you come across an individual who freely gives you a nose massage with their toothbrush?
Ok, perhaps the more critical, incomprehensible question is, 'what would motivate someone to have the desire to freely give another person a nose massage with their toothbrush'?
Is it only me perhaps, who uses their toothbrush in their mouths? Is there something that I should be informed of, or is it a natural thing to place your toothbrush on other peoples bodies?
Maybe there should be laws in place to protect people from doing such nonsense things. It's not as if there aren't other such foolish laws out there, though the majority of them are not strongly enforced.
It may be beneficial to both the owner of the toothbrush as well as the possible receiver of the massage.
I'm not too sure how many of you have had the chance to experience the sensation of a nose message, but it is not nearly as enjoyable as other kinds of massages.
That sensations seems to remain with you for hours afterwards (it kept me from enjoying a peaceful, much needed sleep).
-no one will ever be receiving a massage of ANY type with MY toothbrush!-
Ok, perhaps the more critical, incomprehensible question is, 'what would motivate someone to have the desire to freely give another person a nose massage with their toothbrush'?
Is it only me perhaps, who uses their toothbrush in their mouths? Is there something that I should be informed of, or is it a natural thing to place your toothbrush on other peoples bodies?
Maybe there should be laws in place to protect people from doing such nonsense things. It's not as if there aren't other such foolish laws out there, though the majority of them are not strongly enforced.
It may be beneficial to both the owner of the toothbrush as well as the possible receiver of the massage.
I'm not too sure how many of you have had the chance to experience the sensation of a nose message, but it is not nearly as enjoyable as other kinds of massages.
That sensations seems to remain with you for hours afterwards (it kept me from enjoying a peaceful, much needed sleep).
-no one will ever be receiving a massage of ANY type with MY toothbrush!-
Tuesday, February 7, 2006
A Messenger in Disguise
I've always believed in a divine being and I've frequently heard of God sending messages to His people on Earth.
It was only a random act in which the reason was merely out of curiosity, yet, it turned into something more.
An acquaintance, (which I would prefer to consider a friend, but feel we've fallen away from that title) by complete chance, ended up in my room.
He knew of my situation, and had little to say, except that which was important; that, which I believe he was sent to say at that precise moment.
Needless to say I already knew what he conveyed to me, yet it was an important reminder.
It meant a great deal to me, and though it is only one baby-step to getting through all this. I am truly thankful for it.
Even the most miniscule of steps signifies less time till the conclusion of it all.
-God truly does work in mysterious ways-
It was only a random act in which the reason was merely out of curiosity, yet, it turned into something more.
An acquaintance, (which I would prefer to consider a friend, but feel we've fallen away from that title) by complete chance, ended up in my room.
He knew of my situation, and had little to say, except that which was important; that, which I believe he was sent to say at that precise moment.
Needless to say I already knew what he conveyed to me, yet it was an important reminder.
It meant a great deal to me, and though it is only one baby-step to getting through all this. I am truly thankful for it.
Even the most miniscule of steps signifies less time till the conclusion of it all.
-God truly does work in mysterious ways-
Saturday, February 4, 2006
4 things that could change often
Four Jobs I've Had:
- Sewing instructor's assistant
- Lifeguard (both at a lake and a pool) {this is my fall back plan if i fail at school}
- Babysitter & older sister (they fit together and can be the same thing)
- Stats Keeper for Basketball (my present occupation)
Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again:
- Any of the 'Star Wars'
- Any of 'The Lord of the Rings'
- Any of the 'Back to the Future'
- Life as a House (except for right now due to the personal and emotional connection)
Four Places I have Lived:
- 219 Birch Ave.
- 276 River Heights Dr.
- Camp of the Woods
- in rez
Four T.V Shows I Love:
I don't really watch much T.V. but . . .
- does Hockey count?
- E.R. (my mom and i used to watch it every Thursday)
- Kim Possible
- Boy Meets World and Even Stevens (my sister and i were family channel nerds!)
Four Places I've Vacationed:
- France
- Mexico
- Florida
- All across Canada (except for Newfoundland, the Yukon and NW territories) plus Alaska (which, i know, is not in Canada)
Four of My Favourite Dishes:
- pizza!
- Pasta (with cream sauces)
- Steak
- Seafood
(basically anything my mom makes! [except veggies])
Four Sites I visit Daily
- Hotmail Email
- NHL.com
- Babynames.com
- blogs
Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
- At Home
- At Camp
- New Zealand would be nice
- swimming
Four Bloggers I am Tagging:
considering basically the only people that read my blog have already been tagged this could prove to be difficult
- Brent
- Rod
- Katie
- Erik
- Sewing instructor's assistant
- Lifeguard (both at a lake and a pool) {this is my fall back plan if i fail at school}
- Babysitter & older sister (they fit together and can be the same thing)
- Stats Keeper for Basketball (my present occupation)
Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again:
- Any of the 'Star Wars'
- Any of 'The Lord of the Rings'
- Any of the 'Back to the Future'
- Life as a House (except for right now due to the personal and emotional connection)
Four Places I have Lived:
- 219 Birch Ave.
- 276 River Heights Dr.
- Camp of the Woods
- in rez
Four T.V Shows I Love:
I don't really watch much T.V. but . . .
- does Hockey count?
- E.R. (my mom and i used to watch it every Thursday)
- Kim Possible
- Boy Meets World and Even Stevens (my sister and i were family channel nerds!)
Four Places I've Vacationed:
- France
- Mexico
- Florida
- All across Canada (except for Newfoundland, the Yukon and NW territories) plus Alaska (which, i know, is not in Canada)
Four of My Favourite Dishes:
- pizza!
- Pasta (with cream sauces)
- Steak
- Seafood
(basically anything my mom makes! [except veggies])
Four Sites I visit Daily
- Hotmail Email
- NHL.com
- Babynames.com
- blogs
Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
- At Home
- At Camp
- New Zealand would be nice
- swimming
Four Bloggers I am Tagging:
considering basically the only people that read my blog have already been tagged this could prove to be difficult
- Brent
- Rod
- Katie
- Erik
B-E-A-UTIFUL
True beauty?
Is it spending countless hours and money getting dolled up with extra makeup, fancy hair-does, wacky unrealistic clothing merely to, in the end appear completely different than the 'normal' you, but turning many heads in the process?
Or perhaps true beauty is what's found on the inside. Love, happiness, laughter, joy, a personality . . . all these things that the media has come to disregard entirely.
Sure, girls with short dresses, sizable boobs, plump lips and a voluptuous body can be eye candy for a male (and at times even for female)
but is that true beauty?
Is there something in all that there worth fighting for? Is there an advantage to spending money, time and concerns on such thing?
personally, i would rather be loved for what is on the inside than what can be seen.
-so, for now, i will return to the boycotting of such 'beauty' products, at least until an ideal time for change presents itself-
Is it spending countless hours and money getting dolled up with extra makeup, fancy hair-does, wacky unrealistic clothing merely to, in the end appear completely different than the 'normal' you, but turning many heads in the process?
Or perhaps true beauty is what's found on the inside. Love, happiness, laughter, joy, a personality . . . all these things that the media has come to disregard entirely.
Sure, girls with short dresses, sizable boobs, plump lips and a voluptuous body can be eye candy for a male (and at times even for female)
but is that true beauty?
Is there something in all that there worth fighting for? Is there an advantage to spending money, time and concerns on such thing?
personally, i would rather be loved for what is on the inside than what can be seen.
-so, for now, i will return to the boycotting of such 'beauty' products, at least until an ideal time for change presents itself-
Thursday, February 2, 2006
Scared
I'm going to wake up and it's all going to have been a bad dream. A terrible dream that i'll never have to worry about coming true in reality.
-occasionally dreams are prefered-
-occasionally dreams are prefered-
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Peculiar Events in my Bed
Sleep is confessed to be a relaxing, refreshing, invigorating and profitable experience, particularly to teenagers and young adults attending post secondary education.
Typically, I would agree with that statement. Yet, if by chance last night had been my first time sleeping, I would be hesitant upon returning to that ambivalent state of unconsciousness in the near future.
The reason being -
While sleeping in my bottom bunk last night I had a disturbing dream in which a rather substantially sized spider descended towards my head from a hole above my bed. I screamed (which instantly woke me from my slumber) and without second thought to the situation I flicked on the light. I searched franticly through my covers for the dreaded spider who had rudely disturbed my almost perfect night.
The light had been on for barely 1 minute when my roommate called from above commanding me to turn the light off. I reluctantly obeyed her wish and for the remainder of the night I sensed hundreds if not thousands of small legs and bodies ceaselessly in motion across my exhausted body. The fear of waking to find large spider bites on my body lead to great restlessness to my already disturbed sleep.
- I pray my sleep is blessed with a peace this evening, for the sake of all those who must see or talk with me at anytime in the coming days-
Typically, I would agree with that statement. Yet, if by chance last night had been my first time sleeping, I would be hesitant upon returning to that ambivalent state of unconsciousness in the near future.
The reason being -
While sleeping in my bottom bunk last night I had a disturbing dream in which a rather substantially sized spider descended towards my head from a hole above my bed. I screamed (which instantly woke me from my slumber) and without second thought to the situation I flicked on the light. I searched franticly through my covers for the dreaded spider who had rudely disturbed my almost perfect night.
The light had been on for barely 1 minute when my roommate called from above commanding me to turn the light off. I reluctantly obeyed her wish and for the remainder of the night I sensed hundreds if not thousands of small legs and bodies ceaselessly in motion across my exhausted body. The fear of waking to find large spider bites on my body lead to great restlessness to my already disturbed sleep.
- I pray my sleep is blessed with a peace this evening, for the sake of all those who must see or talk with me at anytime in the coming days-
Monday, January 30, 2006
Cinderella & Snow White
Nearly through January, a particularly desolate fact i'm skeptical about whether i'm prepared for, yet fully aware that i have no choice but to embrace it.
so, just a random thought . . .
' Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby, I'm forever yours '
(lyrics from 'This Kiss' by Faith Hill)
At a young age, many girls have their whole life planned out; where they will attend school, how they will meet that 'perfect guy', how he will propose, each and every small detail of their wedding, dream job, the perfect family etc.. But the chances of those plans complying with their previous wants and desires are rare.
so the question is 'how does love get so off course?'. Their intentions seemed so simple, like nothing could lead it off course. Then, they realize that they're future plans are based on fiction. The numerous movies, books and songs that have been flooding their mind with distorted views of love has greatly influenced these plans, rendering them nearly impossible.
So, is there a process in which one can avoid these false impressions?
There is really no way to avoid the worlds contradicting views of love (that of sex=love and 'perfect' love in the movies)
I presume the only true way to discover love is to wait it out and without planning it, experience it for real!
- love is no doubt different for everyone -
so, just a random thought . . .
' Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby, I'm forever yours '
(lyrics from 'This Kiss' by Faith Hill)
At a young age, many girls have their whole life planned out; where they will attend school, how they will meet that 'perfect guy', how he will propose, each and every small detail of their wedding, dream job, the perfect family etc.. But the chances of those plans complying with their previous wants and desires are rare.
so the question is 'how does love get so off course?'. Their intentions seemed so simple, like nothing could lead it off course. Then, they realize that they're future plans are based on fiction. The numerous movies, books and songs that have been flooding their mind with distorted views of love has greatly influenced these plans, rendering them nearly impossible.
So, is there a process in which one can avoid these false impressions?
There is really no way to avoid the worlds contradicting views of love (that of sex=love and 'perfect' love in the movies)
I presume the only true way to discover love is to wait it out and without planning it, experience it for real!
- love is no doubt different for everyone -
Friday, January 27, 2006
Regret
Regret is a powerful emotion.
It can cause one to lose sight of their hopes and dreams for the future due to the captivating sense of loss regarding a past mistake or action. As you reflect upon the past, it strikes you- perhaps that was a foolish course of action. And owing to that ignorant decision, perhaps something that may have been of been great value to you, will now be cast away, never to be offered again.
The grave realization that such a blame is on you, and that you had the opportunity to act upon such things, haunts you for years to come.
Or perhaps such a regret does not exist in you, but instead you did act upon such things, and the reactions rendered has cause similar pain and distress.
What do you do about these feelings?
Will they ever pass? Is there a way to reverse them, perhaps set them right?
Or are you destined for a life of musing and reflection on what could have been?
-will you gain more from taking actions or holding back?-
It can cause one to lose sight of their hopes and dreams for the future due to the captivating sense of loss regarding a past mistake or action. As you reflect upon the past, it strikes you- perhaps that was a foolish course of action. And owing to that ignorant decision, perhaps something that may have been of been great value to you, will now be cast away, never to be offered again.
The grave realization that such a blame is on you, and that you had the opportunity to act upon such things, haunts you for years to come.
Or perhaps such a regret does not exist in you, but instead you did act upon such things, and the reactions rendered has cause similar pain and distress.
What do you do about these feelings?
Will they ever pass? Is there a way to reverse them, perhaps set them right?
Or are you destined for a life of musing and reflection on what could have been?
-will you gain more from taking actions or holding back?-
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Benefits to Pain - No pain No Gain
I feel amazing, yet simultaneously, like death.
In the past 24 hours i have had more exercise than in the past month!
Last night, on account of it being my first Tuesday home since September, i spent the evening in the gym. Then following my 35 minute run on the elliptical, i joined my fellow dormies in an intense game of volleyball for over an hour.
Today, owing to the extreme temperature, Krysta and i decided to go on a rollerblading excursion (due to the amount of time it had been since either of us had last bladed). It was then that i realized just how completely out of shape i am!
Oh how sore i was after that, yet Amanda still managed to drag me out on a walk. And what an amazing walk it was, past a number of houses people and (much to Manda's disgust) dogs.
We also 'met' the family who lives in the 'ugly house' on the corner! (from the front it is not as hideous as i had first anticipated)
It was a good time, yet i feel i will most definitely regret it tomorrow. My leg and butt muscles are already yelling at me to slow down (which at the moment is somewhat impossible due to my motionless position on this computer chair).
If my new habit of exercise continues however, it will benefit me greatly, especially if we are truly to join the swimming team next year.
-it has all begun to improve for i have just received chocolate cheese cake front he girl down the hall!-
Manda, what if we remain in this situation all through our university experience?
In the past 24 hours i have had more exercise than in the past month!
Last night, on account of it being my first Tuesday home since September, i spent the evening in the gym. Then following my 35 minute run on the elliptical, i joined my fellow dormies in an intense game of volleyball for over an hour.
Today, owing to the extreme temperature, Krysta and i decided to go on a rollerblading excursion (due to the amount of time it had been since either of us had last bladed). It was then that i realized just how completely out of shape i am!
Oh how sore i was after that, yet Amanda still managed to drag me out on a walk. And what an amazing walk it was, past a number of houses people and (much to Manda's disgust) dogs.
We also 'met' the family who lives in the 'ugly house' on the corner! (from the front it is not as hideous as i had first anticipated)
It was a good time, yet i feel i will most definitely regret it tomorrow. My leg and butt muscles are already yelling at me to slow down (which at the moment is somewhat impossible due to my motionless position on this computer chair).
If my new habit of exercise continues however, it will benefit me greatly, especially if we are truly to join the swimming team next year.
-it has all begun to improve for i have just received chocolate cheese cake front he girl down the hall!-
Manda, what if we remain in this situation all through our university experience?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
impartial to such conventional affairs
There is more to life then getting drunk and high
what is the thrill in getting completely wasted- you don't know what your doing, you can't think clearly, you do stupid things which often causes you or someone you're close to great pain or strain
There is too much emphasis on college and university drinking, especially first year. Many first years get the 'freshman 15'. It's blamed primarily on the food they eat, but i truly believe that their drinking habits influence their weight gain far more than any food does.
When i speak with friends who are always away at university, they're stories and excitement revolve generally around the stupid things they've done while drunk out of their minds, or what they don't remember doing while being drunk out of their minds. Their friendships revolve around their drinking habits; which clubs they enjoy the most and who can afford the most alcohol.
Back home, the general belief was the great need or desire for drinking and getting stoned was a way to prove yourself worthy enough of a certain popularity or deserving of someone's friendship.
But perhaps the idea of winning ones friends prepares one for reality- where everything is one big fraud. Nothing is genuine, and once something (or someone) has fulfilled their purpose they are 'dismissed'.
We live in a very greedy world -every man for himself-
Working together to achieve something is rarely heard of, and when it does happen, one of the members has betrayed the other, leaving them humiliated and with nothing.
-Is there anyway to somehow bypass this part of life or this kind of life-
what is the thrill in getting completely wasted- you don't know what your doing, you can't think clearly, you do stupid things which often causes you or someone you're close to great pain or strain
There is too much emphasis on college and university drinking, especially first year. Many first years get the 'freshman 15'. It's blamed primarily on the food they eat, but i truly believe that their drinking habits influence their weight gain far more than any food does.
When i speak with friends who are always away at university, they're stories and excitement revolve generally around the stupid things they've done while drunk out of their minds, or what they don't remember doing while being drunk out of their minds. Their friendships revolve around their drinking habits; which clubs they enjoy the most and who can afford the most alcohol.
Back home, the general belief was the great need or desire for drinking and getting stoned was a way to prove yourself worthy enough of a certain popularity or deserving of someone's friendship.
But perhaps the idea of winning ones friends prepares one for reality- where everything is one big fraud. Nothing is genuine, and once something (or someone) has fulfilled their purpose they are 'dismissed'.
We live in a very greedy world -every man for himself-
Working together to achieve something is rarely heard of, and when it does happen, one of the members has betrayed the other, leaving them humiliated and with nothing.
-Is there anyway to somehow bypass this part of life or this kind of life-
Monday, January 23, 2006
Something Drastic Perhaps
The other night i found myself involved with something that i doubt i would have done two months prior to this. It's nothing completly insubordinate or immoral, it is rather something many people would not expect me to do, which is partially the reason why i decided to go along with it. I find it more exciting to be spontaneous and unpredictable than continualy forseen.
When you frequently do what everyone believes you'd do, it proves to be extremly difficult to be original and more exciting to be around.
There are down sides to being spontaneous and unpredictable however. As a friend has pointed out to me, if someone is overly unpredictable, then that is most likely someone you willl have a dificult time trusting, for the very reason that you are unsure of what they are going to do next.
So while i strife to be impulsive, bein trustworthy and dependable is more important to me.
But, whats wrong with a little fun once in a while?
-the hair reflects my personality- there's a significant contrast-
When you frequently do what everyone believes you'd do, it proves to be extremly difficult to be original and more exciting to be around.
There are down sides to being spontaneous and unpredictable however. As a friend has pointed out to me, if someone is overly unpredictable, then that is most likely someone you willl have a dificult time trusting, for the very reason that you are unsure of what they are going to do next.
So while i strife to be impulsive, bein trustworthy and dependable is more important to me.
But, whats wrong with a little fun once in a while?
-the hair reflects my personality- there's a significant contrast-
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tag - I'm it . . .
So i've been tagged . . . what ever that means. As the rules have been explained to me (by my tagg-er, or would it by tagg-y?)
The rules state that:
"The first player of this game starts with the topic 'Five Weird Habits' of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."
So here i go
Five Weird Habits
(i have a feeling this is going to be more difficult than i had first envisioned)
1. I talk to myself. Like, i say my name to myself, as if there was actually another person their with me. i often find myself talking to myself, out loud, while walking around in public and at school. I discuss problems, things i need to do and thoughts about other people that i may be passing, all with myself. Sometimes its better than talking to a real other person . . . this way i understand exactly what i'm being told.
2. I am physically (or perhaps mentally) unable to dispose of gum that still has flavour. If my gum has flavour and it is time to eat or something i will either keep the gum at the side of my mouth while eating the other item or take it out until i've finished with them other thing, then i will return it to my mouth to finish off the remaining flavour!
3. After watching a movie or reading a book i take on certain qualities of the characters which can result in my behaving abnormally (more so than usual). Past character i have imagined being are a princess, a pirate and a poor child living on the streets of London.
4. When i first take off my pants i empty out the pockets so i don't lose anything either on the way to the washing machine or while its in there. Then, before doing laundry i check my pockets again for anything i may have forgotten. Then, right before loading it into the washing machine, i check the pockets at least twice more, just to be certain i didn't miss anything. Now, i'm not sure, does this actually count as a habit or just a young girl losing her mind long before her time?
(i just know that as soon as i've finished this i'm going to think of my real weird habits, but right now, i'm definitely at a loss for them)
5. Last but now least (for now). I'm not actually sure if this is considered a habit or if it runs in my genes. The firm believe that chocolate truly has the power of fixing anything, no matter the severity or cause.
So there you go, 5 of my weird habits (but definitely not all of them) So, according to the 'rules' it is my duty to tag 5 more people . . . the only problem is that i do not know 5 people with a blog, least none that read my blog (they're all too cool for that). So i will name a few and see what goes from that.
i will tag - Evan, Krysta, Erik B., Brent and, i know he doesn't have a blog, but if he did, i'd tag him - just cause he's waiting for me to mention him, so Jordan (maybe you should get a blog!)
The rules state that:
"The first player of this game starts with the topic 'Five Weird Habits' of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."
So here i go
Five Weird Habits
(i have a feeling this is going to be more difficult than i had first envisioned)
1. I talk to myself. Like, i say my name to myself, as if there was actually another person their with me. i often find myself talking to myself, out loud, while walking around in public and at school. I discuss problems, things i need to do and thoughts about other people that i may be passing, all with myself. Sometimes its better than talking to a real other person . . . this way i understand exactly what i'm being told.
2. I am physically (or perhaps mentally) unable to dispose of gum that still has flavour. If my gum has flavour and it is time to eat or something i will either keep the gum at the side of my mouth while eating the other item or take it out until i've finished with them other thing, then i will return it to my mouth to finish off the remaining flavour!
3. After watching a movie or reading a book i take on certain qualities of the characters which can result in my behaving abnormally (more so than usual). Past character i have imagined being are a princess, a pirate and a poor child living on the streets of London.
4. When i first take off my pants i empty out the pockets so i don't lose anything either on the way to the washing machine or while its in there. Then, before doing laundry i check my pockets again for anything i may have forgotten. Then, right before loading it into the washing machine, i check the pockets at least twice more, just to be certain i didn't miss anything. Now, i'm not sure, does this actually count as a habit or just a young girl losing her mind long before her time?
(i just know that as soon as i've finished this i'm going to think of my real weird habits, but right now, i'm definitely at a loss for them)
5. Last but now least (for now). I'm not actually sure if this is considered a habit or if it runs in my genes. The firm believe that chocolate truly has the power of fixing anything, no matter the severity or cause.
So there you go, 5 of my weird habits (but definitely not all of them) So, according to the 'rules' it is my duty to tag 5 more people . . . the only problem is that i do not know 5 people with a blog, least none that read my blog (they're all too cool for that). So i will name a few and see what goes from that.
i will tag - Evan, Krysta, Erik B., Brent and, i know he doesn't have a blog, but if he did, i'd tag him - just cause he's waiting for me to mention him, so Jordan (maybe you should get a blog!)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Desensitize by the City Life
While sitting in class today i heard a siren in the distance, i had the sudden urge to run to a window and search for the emergency vehicle. Then i remembered- i'm in a city, i hear sirens at least 4 times a day, i should no longer feel drawn to the site of the unknown catastrophe.
I recall times back in high school when there were sirens heard and the entire class would run to the window in search for the location and the reason for the sirens. The dread that perhaps we knew the victim, flashes through our mind.
And now, not a second thought to whom the victim may be, what they may be suffering through, what they could have lost. The familiarity of the sound has left us with no compassion for those who may be involved.
I once heard that in large cities they are required to change the tone of the sirens once every few years. The reason for this is the residents of the area become accustomed to the noise and can easily shut it out, taking little to no notice of possible actions they maybe required to take or possible dangers they may encounter.
To me, i find it depressing that sirens have become an everyday part of life. They were first designed for emergencies and were known to draw large crowds. Now, those 'emergencies' have grown to be so regular that they are no longer any interest to the general public and even the officers are growing bored with their job.
Will all this continue until perhaps the emergency crew will soon be unconcerned with the troubles of others?
Is there a way that this can possibly be changed to somehow improve the outlook society has on the needy and troubles, perhaps offering more assistance rather than a blind eye?
- city folk should take a trip to the country, find a closer meaning to the words 'peace & quiet-
ah, the 7th sirens i remember hearing today :(
I recall times back in high school when there were sirens heard and the entire class would run to the window in search for the location and the reason for the sirens. The dread that perhaps we knew the victim, flashes through our mind.
And now, not a second thought to whom the victim may be, what they may be suffering through, what they could have lost. The familiarity of the sound has left us with no compassion for those who may be involved.
I once heard that in large cities they are required to change the tone of the sirens once every few years. The reason for this is the residents of the area become accustomed to the noise and can easily shut it out, taking little to no notice of possible actions they maybe required to take or possible dangers they may encounter.
To me, i find it depressing that sirens have become an everyday part of life. They were first designed for emergencies and were known to draw large crowds. Now, those 'emergencies' have grown to be so regular that they are no longer any interest to the general public and even the officers are growing bored with their job.
Will all this continue until perhaps the emergency crew will soon be unconcerned with the troubles of others?
Is there a way that this can possibly be changed to somehow improve the outlook society has on the needy and troubles, perhaps offering more assistance rather than a blind eye?
- city folk should take a trip to the country, find a closer meaning to the words 'peace & quiet-
ah, the 7th sirens i remember hearing today :(
Monday, January 16, 2006
the ceaseless cycle
You know that feeling of such excitement and contenment when you are experiencing something new for the first time! Everything just seems so perfect and incomparable- you never want it to end!? Then things change, and that thrill has concluded, leaving you unprepared.
My sequence of plumetting events proceeded in this manner -
1st - left to find a whole new world (a few provinces away)
2nd - everything and everyone was new, and it possesed such a powerful appeal
3rd - because of the thrill of the new and unexpected i was left with little chance of missing home, at times i missed friends and family, but there was no real craving for what i'd left behind.
4th - i returned home for Christmas break . . . 3 whole weeks. Though i missed everyone from school, it was great to see most of the people from home!
5th - returning to school, it's no longer something new, the appeal and thrill had faded.
6th - i remember what is was like to be home, and now that was all of a sudden something new and exciting. Something else to desire . . .
it is all one big cycle that may never end. Though i am impartial to if i truly wish it to end. Stopping would mean that i am content where i am, not ever wanting change or improvement. But, some people are staisfied living in the same place for their entire life.
What about me?
- destined for one spot? or to see the world?-
My sequence of plumetting events proceeded in this manner -
1st - left to find a whole new world (a few provinces away)
2nd - everything and everyone was new, and it possesed such a powerful appeal
3rd - because of the thrill of the new and unexpected i was left with little chance of missing home, at times i missed friends and family, but there was no real craving for what i'd left behind.
4th - i returned home for Christmas break . . . 3 whole weeks. Though i missed everyone from school, it was great to see most of the people from home!
5th - returning to school, it's no longer something new, the appeal and thrill had faded.
6th - i remember what is was like to be home, and now that was all of a sudden something new and exciting. Something else to desire . . .
it is all one big cycle that may never end. Though i am impartial to if i truly wish it to end. Stopping would mean that i am content where i am, not ever wanting change or improvement. But, some people are staisfied living in the same place for their entire life.
What about me?
- destined for one spot? or to see the world?-
Saturday, January 14, 2006
True Friends Fight
True Friends Fight . . . There's nothing you can do to stop it.
Friends who are true, mean so much to each other. You truly care what they think because you know that they are looking out for you, that they want the best for you and they do not have ulterior motives to somehow gain something at your expense. Instead a friend would do their best to aid the other before themselves.
Seeing a friend genuinely content should, in turn, make you happy for them.
Friends support each other threw thick and thin. But, they are not perfect and they do screw up and often upset you.
that's why true friends fight . . . because they let you down, you had a high standard for them, and they were unable to uphold that, they (like the rest of the world) failed you.
But, the good thing about friends is, that through everything- pain, betrayal, destruction . . . in the end, they are still their for you, they still love you and they are willing to do most anything to fix things.
Friends that are not real, that are more of the acquaintance type, are mostly likely not willing to take such measures to repair a damaged relationship.
-true friends are hard to find, so when you've found one, hold on tight-
Friends who are true, mean so much to each other. You truly care what they think because you know that they are looking out for you, that they want the best for you and they do not have ulterior motives to somehow gain something at your expense. Instead a friend would do their best to aid the other before themselves.
Seeing a friend genuinely content should, in turn, make you happy for them.
Friends support each other threw thick and thin. But, they are not perfect and they do screw up and often upset you.
that's why true friends fight . . . because they let you down, you had a high standard for them, and they were unable to uphold that, they (like the rest of the world) failed you.
But, the good thing about friends is, that through everything- pain, betrayal, destruction . . . in the end, they are still their for you, they still love you and they are willing to do most anything to fix things.
Friends that are not real, that are more of the acquaintance type, are mostly likely not willing to take such measures to repair a damaged relationship.
-true friends are hard to find, so when you've found one, hold on tight-
Friday, January 13, 2006
Post Script
Ok, so just in case i didn't make my point clear before, this is some new development on the agitating situation concerning Alberta and . . . their government.
During my long tedious bus ride to chemistry class, i had a near death experience with the transit system today. I was at my transfer spot and when i arrived there i was pleased to see my next bus already there. As i began making my way towards it, it began to pull away! I was filled with rage - i'm not waiting for the next one! So i chased after it! It wasn't stopping! I started pounding the window, hoping to get the drivers attention. He stoped at the lights and i began to beat upon the door, how could he deny me now? He gave me a rather upsetting glance before reluctantly openning the door. I had my headphones on, so i'm not sure if he said something to me, but the look on his face said enough. Not only was that dangerous, but it was stupid. Pfft, i didn't care, i was on the bus, which meant, i no longer had to sit in a cold, smelly disgusting bus stop waiting for the next one!
-i'll risk my life to reduce my time spent on the public bus-
During my long tedious bus ride to chemistry class, i had a near death experience with the transit system today. I was at my transfer spot and when i arrived there i was pleased to see my next bus already there. As i began making my way towards it, it began to pull away! I was filled with rage - i'm not waiting for the next one! So i chased after it! It wasn't stopping! I started pounding the window, hoping to get the drivers attention. He stoped at the lights and i began to beat upon the door, how could he deny me now? He gave me a rather upsetting glance before reluctantly openning the door. I had my headphones on, so i'm not sure if he said something to me, but the look on his face said enough. Not only was that dangerous, but it was stupid. Pfft, i didn't care, i was on the bus, which meant, i no longer had to sit in a cold, smelly disgusting bus stop waiting for the next one!
-i'll risk my life to reduce my time spent on the public bus-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)