So This Is Love

When I saw this picture I recalled this song my sister use to sing. I wonder if anyone ever warned them of the consequences? I hope not... paranoia can keep you from experiencing so much joy. 

The cutest boy, I ever saw, was sipping soda from a straw. The cutest boy I ever saw, was sipping soda from a straw.

I asked him if he'd teach me how, to sip my soda, from a straw. I asked him if he'd teach me how, to sip my soda from a straw.

So cheek to cheek, and nose to nose, we sipped our soda from a straw. So cheek to cheek and nose to nose, we sipped our soda from a straw. 

Then suddenly, the straw did slip, we sipped our soda lip to lip. Then suddenly the straw did slip- we sipped our soda lip to lip.

That's how I got my mother in law, and 15 kids to call my 'ma'. That's how I got my mother in law, and 15 kids to call me 'ma'.

The moral of this little tail, is sip your soda from a pail. The moral of this little tail, is sip your soda from a pail.

~ewwww cooties!~

Lesson 1

It happened yesterday. It was the very end of the day- thankfully. It had been a long, though rather unproductive day of sitting in the gymnasium doing dress rehearsals of our Christmas Concert. My kids were surprisingly patient, but it wore on them, especially by the end.
The bell had just rung, and I dismissed the class. Suddenly, Abbott, one of my grade 3 boys, with the tough exterior and often "too cool for school" attitude, burst in to tears.
Thankfully most of the class had already left the classroom. I made my way over to Abbott,his head was down, wrapped in his arms. Having no idea what this was about I cautiously put my hand on his shoulder and asked him what was the matter.
Barely lifting his head, he bitterly declared, "Taban is calling me names, and making fun of me."
Taban, who was one of my other grade 3 boys, and also still in the room retorted, "No, I wasn't!"
Wanting to resolve this quickly I asked Abbott, "what exactly did he say to you to make fun of you?"
Abbott spat in disgust, "he said I was in love with you!"

I bit my tongue quickly to keep from laughing. How horrible he made it sound- to be in love with me! Or at least the thought of being in love with me!


I know that they are just children, and the very idea of love is still absolutely repellent... but perhaps this feeling isn't wholly foreign to people my age too. Not the feeling of fondness towards someone, but that weak feeling you get... when you feel lost, or forgotten when you're not with that person.
Men pride themselves in strength- physical as well as emotional. Love defies these "rules" and so when it happens, they are filled with confusion... and ultimately aversion.
If they don't admit it, they didn't commit it, and so pain and frailty can never happen.

~how I sleep at night~

twisted

the world may always be opposed

with pretended morals, and blurred lines.
rough, seasoned hands
compel the soft and innocent.
their cry of fear taken for pleasure
in time becoming indifference.

with hands tied down
and threats thoroughly set
the choice is no longer yours.
take me now, you hear.

pushed up against the wall
bound and teased
no say in the matter
this is pleasure


~this is skewed and misleading~

In My Mind's Eye

Have you seen the movie In Time? It has a powerful message mixed within the violence and action. But ultimately, it is about a time when time is currency, and when you run out of time, you die. The rich all live in their own area with millions of years to spare, while the poor are living by the hour, working- literally- to stay alive. 
~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~    

The other night, I had a dream with a similar story line. Time was our currency, but instead of  dying when we run out of time, we are hunted for sport. Adds another element of entertainment I suppose. Mason was in my dream, and he was complaining about Time as currency- I told him that he wasn't allowed to complain, because when we watched the movie he said he liked it. 

In my dream, a friend and I were struggling. We were down to minutes and we had nothing else valuable to sell to get us more time. Somehow we ended up in some kind of a brothel. These men came in after us, and right away they hired us. 

The man who chose me, I quickly learned, had prosthetic arms. He started taking himself a part, and I was doing all I could to not be completely disgusted with what I was about to do. As I was sitting there waiting, I heard noises indicating other transactions were not being delayed as mine was. I wished to just get this over and done with so I could escape from this current hell.

Right as it was about to start, a man rushed in (who was not Mason, but whom apparently I was in a relationship with). He declared he loved me, and then proposed to me- not with a diamond, but with a huge bank of time!

I soon learned that the man with the prosthesis was in fact completely artificial! He was a robot my fiance had created to watch and protect me. 

How romantic...?

I also learned that the time given to me by my fiance was stollen from his brother, and his brother was now after us.  More action and entertainment followed as we were being chased by an angry, bitter man with hunters after him. 

My future brother in law died having jumped into a ravine following us. We were both quite devastated, but apparently he was a corrupt man, and he had what was coming to him.

~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~            ~   
Talk about a strange dream. What exactly was my mind trying to tell me in all this? Or am I silly to be searching for a message in this?


~it was more the anticipation~

AHH

I know I already posted today, but I've fallen in love, and I couldn't wait a moment to share it!!
I don't know if you've heard of Andrew Allen before. If you have- you suck for not sharing him with me! If you haven't- today's your lucky day!!
His lyrics, and voice. His energy, and genuineness. It's like he truly means what he's singing. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's cute, and has amazingly intense eyes. And that stubble really works for him.

Check out his stuff.

And because the Christmas season is nearly here (3 weeks today is Christmas eve- one of my favourite days of the year!) here you can here the song that got my sister and I stated on him last year- though very slowly I am sad to say.

~say it to me~

As of Late

Sizzling, spiced, and decadent.
A taste that can be satisfied daily. Let the amount increase exponentially.
My mouth waters, and my hands shake. Anticipation. Like an airplane coming in for a landing, the hanger door wide open, yearning to be filled.
Let all other activities be forgotten, and only this take our time.
But together.
Alone it lacks meaning. Without heart, passion. Instead I remain aching for that which I am unmotivated to achieve.
Left alone in these cravings is wretched and cruel.
I call to you, my body, heart, and stomach.
Listen.

~already won~

boys vs girls

~we don't mean to miscommunicate~

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, Lean Your Ear This Way

I like to give my kids the opportunity to share with the rest of the class about their weekends. Most of the times it's 13 kids telling me they watched a movie, or two... (I thought that Mennonites didn't like technology?).

Today I was telling them that I went to the city and did some Christmas shopping. I told them that I had a present for everyone except my sister. Suddenly the kids were sharing all sorts of ideas with me:
- a barbie: but put it in a box so she won't know what it is
- a jack-in-the box that will pop out and scare her!
- a ballerina from prison (?) [Kayson's idea, he was completely serious]
- a horse (which ended up becoming a horse with chicken pox, because for some reason my kids are currently obsessed with chicken pox)

They were all so willing and excited to give me ideas, I didn't have the heart to tell them that she was 20 years old. But maybe she would like a jack-in-the-box?!

~the child in me~

A Warm Snowy Night Would Be a Start

Have you ever played "Never have I ever"?
There are a few versions of it... there's the drinking-game version (though these days there seems to be a drinking game version of everything), and the get-to-know-you version, and the fruit-basket-version.
I was always bad at it because I never realized I'd never done something till someone else made note of it. It's not that I'm completely sheltered, or am afraid to try something new... I just appreciate my comfort zone.
There is one thing, however which I 1. Know I haven't done, and 2. Know I want to do.

What about you?

~the white shirt's a must~

Don't Turn Around

The state in which we currently reside might suggest stagnant waters. You may fear that our direction has faltered and now resides as a neglected thought in the dark corners of our minds. With all else engaging our time, we are left to our own devices, surviving on minimal time, and leftover weekends.
Such is not the case, however. With February quickly approaching, our minds remain interested in the current affairs. We see time as a growing crop, ever nearing the moment for action.
And with harvest in mind, we put on the appropriate wear and take our step. A big step. A monumental step. Together- hand in hand... and my step ever so slightly ahead.

~not entirely alone, for long~

Maybe I should Go Red?

Maybe a little scandalous. But everyone has ideas, fantasies, and weaknesses. Perhaps when you see this you are jealous or attracted (whether you will admit to it or not). There is nothing abnormal about that. We all have desires... some of us just have more control than others- or maybe they just want more control. 

Personally... the less control I have the better ;)

~it's all relative~

Back in action

So I teach a class of 13 kids, ranging from kindergarten to grade 3. I have only one kindergarten student who comes on alternate days. This student, whom I'll call Kayson, is a cheery student, who is loved by all, and is a joy to have in the class, despite his lack of knowledge regarding proper school behaviour.
I wish all kids were like him.


One day, to have him practice his numbers, I was having him role a dice, figure out what number it was, then bead that many beads onto pipe cleaners. He was loving it! After he started to really get the hang of it, I had him leave the group from the role before, and than add the two amounts together.
(and this right here is why I wish they were all more like him)
Kayson declared enthusiastically "what a fantastic idea!"

His genuine interest and zeal was a surprise- a refreshing surprise! Most of my other students are at the stage where they can't admit they are enjoying school or learning. And showing avidity towards any of my academic suggestions would be social suicide!

The most refreshing part about Kayson's enthusiasm, is that it didn't fade. As I continued to make suggestions, his fascination and curiosity persisted!
Who knew learning could be so fun!



And this is only one of the reasons why I love this kid!

~a life worth living~

Too Far Too Long

I haven't had internet for over a month... Now here it is. Yet it does not fulfil, only a further reminder of what I do not have.
I'm also missing 7th Heaven... when I had it to watch, it almost felt like I had a family to come home too- almost.

I'm pathetic. And lonely. And wishing I were in your arms.

~wrapped up tight~

Still Nothing

I am still without the technology that enables me to communicate with the rest of the world... It does not help with the isolation that is Bow Island. 

Sometimes I feel that I live in that town from Footloose... 

Got an email today that made me think, so I thought I'd share it with you.

God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you- to make you into the person you are today, and ultimately the person you are meant to be

~a reason~

Lacking pizzazz, or even just a smile

I am currently without internet and tv at my house.
Is it sad that this upsets me terribly? Have I become far to dependent on technology to entertain me and make me happy? What happened to music while cleaning, or a good book on the couch?

Oh right... my books have yet to arrive in the Dried Bean Capitol of the West. Plus I am sick of my music and have no way of purchasing more...
It might help if I had friends, or at least companions with a 1 or even 2 hour radius. But here I remain alone, with no friends- real or fake.

I don't want to say my life sucks because it could be worse. However... I'm not feeling too excited about it right now.


~just don't take my phone~

But what if...

~gah! I lack reason~

prov 3 5 6

Under a microscope nothing is perfect
Blemish and defect are inevitable
nothing is as it originally seems

Plans and purpose fall to the way side
as our tracks silently change course
unbeknownst to the distracted crew

Our plates are beyond our official 'full'
With work, and life, and new voices
at what point do we overcome all this "new"?

~lean not on your own understanding~

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

a few random lines i've scribbled in an attempt to describe my current plight.

you said no matter the distance,
we'd hold tight and make it through.
but the path of least resistance
doesn't always seem to lead to you.

~

Tears that once did not exist, come rolling down my cheeks.
So many strong and new emotions have over powered me.
I wish you did not see me in this weak and sappy state
but when it comes to you all control is washed away.

~

I want to yell and scream and beg
for you to let me be
And forget you ever saw me in this
tearful awful mess

~of someone else?~

From Thought to Tree in 0.3

I have an overactive imagination. Plant the smallest notion of an idea in my mind through either word or deed, and within moments you could have a fully developed outcome. A future with a house, car, white picket fence and family of 5.

The majority of the time however, my train of thought is ridiculous and completely unrealistic. For some reason, unlike the movies, the end result of a chance meeting, or locked eyes cannot be realized fifteen minutes into it. Love, wealth and happiness are not an everyday occurrence, in fact, there is not even a guarantee of a happy ending.

My imagination however, is ignorant of this. Of reality. Though I have never been put under a spell to be awoken only by true love's kiss, or had a fairy godmother dress me in sparkles and send me off in a pumpkin carriage. That which I want, think, dream, and imagine is rarely that which occurs.
Life seems to differ somewhat from my dreams...


~your longterm thinking can be so... short term~

Stalled

My life has taken a new turn, a fast turn. The world around me is spinning and I'm excited to gain some control and see where it has taken me. It's a time in my life when change, and onward steps are vital and thrilling- and occasionally scary as hell. But this is the time for them. 

Young, strong, and enthusiastic, nothing knocks you down for long. Movement stimulates you and lulls  are unsettling. I can't help but wonder why, when the rest of my world is in constant flux leading me towards my new future- my new life- this refuses to progress. Is there something going on behind the scenes suggesting that this is only temporary and not durable enough to last into my slowly shaping future? Is it a warning sign?

I tend to lack patience when it comes to knowing what the future holds, if I have a worry or fear, waiting for the worst to come is the last thing I want to do. Just release the anchor, and let me spin. If loss is inevitable, why put it off.

~waiting on your words~

She's Back

A few months ago I mention a girl I am calling Kenadie, who was interested in Mason. I told Mason at the time that I was not comfortable with them talking- not that I don't trust him, it's her. Despite the fact that he was in a committed relationship, she continued to pursue him. Ummm excuse me bitch!

So now, here we are months later and things are going wonderfully and she has ceased to make an appearance in our day-to-day lives. Until last night.
Mason was going out with some friends, one of whom is friends with Kenadie, and so Kenadie was part of the group. Mason tells me this morning, that she was hitting on him all night.
Well, needless to say that rubbed me the wrong way!
Girl- he's cut off communication with you, he's still got a girlfriend, and he is showing you no interested. Get the hint and MOVE ON.

Mason seems to think I'm making a bigger deal of this than I should. That he's with me, is perfectly content, and there is nothing Kenadie, or any other girl can do to change that. I try to forget about it... but obviously, based on this post hours later... it continues to linger.
I am confused on what to do about it. I don't want him to feel that I don't trust him- cause I do. But I can't seem to explain to him in a way that he understands why this girl bugs me so much. Nor, does it seem that I can forget it.

~haunted by past transgressions~

All I Need

Step 1, receive my rather delayed letter from Hogwarts. (Errol must be delivering it)

 Step 2, get to London so I can use my ticket to ride on the train to Hogwarts.

Step 3, get a life.

So I've Been Told

little secret

...he is unaware, but on a daily basis he brings tears of joys to my eyes. If he knew he'd tease me- apparently I cry far too easily. But he's the first boy to make me happy-cry.

...i want to tell the world about him while simultaneously hide him away so no one tries to steal him. If he knew he'd tell me I was being ridiculous- no one could steal him away.

...he can drive me crazy and inspire me in the same breath. If he knew, he'd claim I was just humouring him. 

...somehow he always seems to know what to say, he reads me better than I understand myself. If he knew, he'd say girls are complicated, but my silence says it all.

...i miss him every day. He knows, but I don't remind him- it just makes it worse.

... if he knew my secret, he'd smile and shake his head and say slow down girl, and enjoy the ride

I wonder if he'll ever know. I wonder what our future holds. I wonder what he'll say...

~how slow do you want to go~

Children Are Quick

whether these are all true or not, I don't care. They still make me smile, and excited for the stories I'll be telling about my students!

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

_              _____________________________ 

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it  is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:Maria.
____________________________________  
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_____________________________________
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
_____________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
 __________________________    ________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
 ____________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are. 
_____________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I  is...
TEACHER: No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'   
______________       __________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had  the axe in his hand.....    
______________________________________ 
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
_              _____________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..    Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.    
______________________    _____________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher