Thursday, September 1, 2011

Children Are Quick


whether these are all true or not, I don't care. They still make me smile, and excited for the stories I'll be telling about my students!

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
_              _____________________________ 
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it  is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are. 
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I  is...
TEACHER: No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'   
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had  the axe in his hand.....    
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
_              _____________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..    Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.    
______________________    _____________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher 

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