an untrue reality

i escape among my drifting notions- reveling in a world of fantasies, which defy the laws of reality.

emphasizing truth to excite my fancy.

a mere boy is transformed into a knight. an innocent smile evolves into lingering looks. a soft touch into a passionate tale. and words of affection into forever.

no way to be curtailed, this is my compulsion; my life support.

i will not falter under the world's weight.

~i imagine it will last~

the distance we covered

you fancy my eyes, laying claim of their "intensity and beauty". yet while you sit in admiration, i am lost in something deeper- adrift in wonder.

i revere your mind and each word you say, declaring their worth.

distinct from all who came before, thoughts of you excite my mind and send shivers throughout my body.

i marvel on our amends, charmed by the moment. roused from a slumber i knew not i was in.

escaped from the matrix that was, never to return.

~someone with something to say~

lesson learned

people can surprise you.

as much as i hate being judged due to reputation or hear-say, i admit i have been guilty of doing this myself from time to time.

Last night, for instance, i was guilty of this. I went into a situation thinking i knew exactly who he was, what would happen, and how i was going to feel.

instead, i was blown away.

i love being pleasantly surprised. discovering just how ignorant we can truly be.

in high school time was never given to sharing yourself, all that mattered was that you fit in somewhere. now, things have changed. some have come to truly value people- finding out other's stories, how they've grown, and changed since you last 'knew' them (though we can't ever claim to have known each other).

it's encouraging to see how life can change people for the good... for someone whom you previously deemed hopeless (not that i was in any state to lay such judgements), instead ends up being kind, sensitive, intelligent, insightful, funny... someone you are comfortable sitting and talking with into the wee hours of the morning. That even when calling it quits, you feel gypped by time. you whisper a curse to sleep and your need for it. you crave more and long for similar opportunities in the near future.

like a slap to the face, you caught my attention as few have done before. something new, unpredictable, and curiously charming.

~i look forward~

from the inside out

your smile inspires me.

like a sun ray that ripples across the room, you warm me.

it pierces the expanse like a shot

impossible to ignore

and inevitably resonates through all.

your smile revives me.

like chocolate, it cures all ails.

it alleviates a world of pains

generated by your brothers

it's unpredictable and welcome.

`he's got a smile that would light up this whole town`

you make me feel smart

"when i'm turned-on, i smell like honey" - the rather awkward looking boy said to his equally appealing friends.

i'm not an eavesdropper, though i won't deny the lack of effort used to mute surrounding conversations. my writing's professor often urged us to be open to what that world said- especially the more vapid comments, as they often lead to inspiration.

though i take great delight in the absurdities of others, i have yet to be inspired by this quote (except, of course, to laugh).

there is, however, potentiality in such a situation, and i will be sure to retain it in the banks of possibilities for future reference.

~what would you do with this?~

see through me

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight, but I’m just surviving. I may be weak but I’m never defeated, and I’ll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining. (Kate Voegele)

Preconceived notions dictate my actions. They surmise a particular reaction, and fail to recognize my mortality. Change and weakness are intolerable. While these tests of faith appear to fail against my fortification, the foundation weakens incessantly. Secure walls and strong face account for little in reality.

That which they survey fails to divulge truth. Their rose-tinted perspectives see only that which they wish. Smiling with ease, they disregard my silent plea. Belief does not determine truth, no matter the degree.

My want disbands weightlessly in the hands of the world. Never does compassion span beyond reach, for self governs the soul, and wins. The abandoned mortal ascertains the significance of name: reside in that which they established you for. Escape is both foolish and insecure.

Within the confines of the mind your freedom prevails. They advocate liberation, but practice oppression, thwarting dreams and muting voice.

A time nears which demands conformity, casting sorrow and demise on the sagacious stranger.

No alliance, no concession: survive or reason, these are the only options. Ergo, a choice rests on the horizon. Survey each path, resolve your values, and revolt against prejudices.

Live to believe that truth conquers all

-survival of the lifeless-

speak to me

captivated by those words- words of charm and artistry. profound and mysterious, they envelop my mind, soul, and heart. i yearn for more, to feed a parched spirit, as such a stimulus transpires seldom. yet i am constrained by the unknown. the source is a rare sight, impossible to arouse, and unaltered by my endeavours.

a sultry eye perishes unobserved. an eager reach falls futilely. and collapsing alone is my arching figure. what remains?

an unprecedented insight, and immaculate tongue to which i am drawn. willing (and wanting) to accept all which is conveyed, i linger in hopes of fate taking a turn and those eyes descrying me.

such a twist has yet to materialize. and so i remain, detached from my object of admiration. dangling hopelessly.

love me or set me free

~the way to a woman's heart is in words~

Pretend Boyfriend

i've discussed before my tendency to give people (usually ones i am not personally familiar with) nicknames, ie Nocab and Coffee Guy.

Well after over a years-long recess, it's back!

It began this year, with Misty, a friend of Erin's (now, i'm happy to say, my friend too!) informing Erin that she had found "THE MAN FOR YOU".

Apparently Misty had worked at camp with him over the summer, and she discovered that he was funny, kind-hearted, dramatic... basically, the male version of Erin! And, unlike myself, who is a candidate for "opposites attract", decided this was the perfect man for Erin.

Well this guy goes to school with us as well now. We see him from time to time (one of the most memorable being when he almost hit Erin with his bike!), having never been formally introduced however, we do not speak.

Though we do speak about him.

This guy became the topic of numerous conversations between us.

Originally he was called "Erin's Pretend Boyfriend"... but this became a bit long, and when talking in front of the uninformed, and public, we received a lot of strange looks. So, i decided that it was time that "Erin's Pretend Boyfriend" got a name.

And so he was named, Mario Licci.

We (well more so Erin) felt more at ease using this name then his previous title.

Mario has become the chief character in many of our anecdotes. A few have been let in on our code, though even they have been known to get confused. One friend in particular thought that Mario was his real name- honestly, whoever insists boys are observant must be on some sort of hallucinogen !

Since then, Erin has met Mario a few times.

The most memorable of them being their first meeting!

It went something like this: Mario stopped in front of our house with his ghetto van, opened the back, and helped Erin jump into a seat-less back seat, before quickly driving off like a maniac, while Erin held on in the back, praying for her life!

He he he... a great first impression!

Though our conversations about him have transformed into somewhat less-creepy varieties, his name(s) have remained.

~the game may have changed, but the name's the same~