must it always come back to Trust

I now understand the reason why i shudder at the mere mention of group projects.

The whole working together to accomplish something great. Each doing our own part, and later reuniting to fit it together to attain that ideal assignment.

Trust.

It always comes back to this!

You see, in a group project not only do you depend on your partner(s) to do their part, but they depend on you. Often you are with others whom you barely know. You are unaware of their past group-projects experiences. No, instead you are thrown into such a situation left only with faith

Faith that they will perform their tasks up to your standards (and vice-versa of course), faith that they will research properly, faith that they will actually show up on the day you are presenting (because group projects all-too-often go hand in hand with presentations).

It's all just too risky. You are so vulnerable placing that trust on the shoulders of another. This isn't a minor deal, this could be your degree we're talking about here!

~for even the sturdiest ground can shift and can tremble and let us fall~

Dream Catcher

So i have this exboyfriend/exfriend/exboyfriend/exfriend/exboyfriend (for the sake of simplicity i'll call my Ex) who i've known for, well, years. We've gone through a lot together, most of it good, but there are always some bumps in the road. Unfortunately, the most recent bump we've traversed was never concluded, or overcome. I guess we could say that we are living on that bump.

Anyways, recently this Ex has been appearing in my dreams... talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed!

Either i wake up angry at him, or i wake up content only to remember the reality of our relationship. It's no way to start a day. Having him on my mind all day is neither healthy nor productive. Also, i fear that it has become a never ending cycle.

Think about it: i dream about him which results in his being in my mind all day, which causes me to dream about him again, then the next day there he is again! GAH!

I'm left wondering, waiting, considering, and fearing. I'm also frustrated.

~somethings never die~

my lullaby

for every step, another beat

-somatic from the heart

life, nature, routine, it goes on

to thump and pulse and knock me down

for beside me is bare

and my heart's not there

but the pity is false

as is that familiar smile on my face

they promise an ending

yet never assure bliss

but isn't that just the way it is

we beg for truth and get struck with reality

~Love and Pain go hand in hand~