I walked into my 3rd class this afternoon only to find myself suddenly engrossed in the mayhem of chatter, laughter, and post-christmas break reunions. Hugs, hand shakes, slaps on the back, everywhere i turned i was reminded of my encroachment into unfamiliar land and my ultimate alienation.
I tried to squeeze through the gleeful people, without bringing much attention to myself, and seat myself inconspicuously separate from the others, but not in a way that my distance would be noticeable.
As i sat down i raised my eyes and one of the boys in the center of the excitement caught my eyes and mouthed a quick welcome, i smiled and quickly returned my eyes to the ground as i took a seat.
I did not stay remote for long, as a boy i was vaguely familiar with, came and took a seat next to me. His friendly chatter helped to calm some of my nerves, which i was thankful for.
But the reduced heart beat did not last long as the professor called as all to the stage to sit in a circle (it was a drama class).
I sat between the boy who had provided me with my initial welcome and the boy who had come to talk to me. Suddenly three new hands were thrust toward me as three overly-eager boys introduced themselves to me.
After the professors introductory spiel, we were told to get into partners. I was instantly 'dibs-ed' and a second later asked from the other side.
What a feeling, to be more than just a face in the crowd, another girl. Instead being something new, mysterious and - dare i say it - interesting! (at least for a short time)
After years of being like everyone else (with a few exceptions which never lasted long anyway), it felt almost special (weaved together characteristically with fear)
If nothing else, it was nice to feel wanted, even for a short time
~something special~
1 comment:
im glad that you felt that way!! I would hate for you to have felt out of place. We like new people!! And you are a blast!
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