The M&M Dispenser Theory

If ever one is in need of finding friends fast (girls in particular) i highly recommend an investment in an M&M dispenser. It need not be an exceptionally fashionable one, nor an extraordinarily expensive one, for all that is truly needed is an endless supply of M&M's.

Before I had departed from my home town to make my way to my new abode, a family friend bestowed on me a small trifle of affection. That item appeared to be nothing of great value. It was assembled with what appeared to be scraps of wood (which had not been stained) and an old jar. Yet, this is not the physical appearance in which i wished to draw attention to. Instead, it is the blessings in which it generated.

Upon my preliminary arrival here at dorm I was familiar with only one fellow resident, my roommate. But, due to my highly developed brain i discovered a way in which to 'make friends'.
It first began with the girl across the hall, and soon expanded, for over the next few days the amount of visitors i was receiving increased readily (and i began to realize, that due to the fact that my roommate rarely bathed, there was something more that must be drawing them to my chambers). I began to noticed that each time i had a visitor, they would also visit the M&M dispenser.
Reality soon became apparent to me. My reign over then entire dorm looked promising [insert evil laugh here].


So, i continue to refill that dispenser.
You may never know when one may be in need of diligent and devoted workers :)

-Free Chocolate + Females = POWER-