How Bad Do I Want It?

I could dress like a slut too- walk around flaunting myself for all to see . . . But what would be achieved in doing that? I'd gain new 'friends' and 'popularity', but for what? All for claiming to be someone I'm not? Not only would it be a pointless act, but it would be degrading, and an endeavour I do not wish to partake in.

-enjoying life does not always mean being in the spotlight-

Short and Sweet

The weather calls for rain
I bubble with great anticipation
Oh the unexplainable exuberance that comes from the simple elements of life
The refreshing sensation of rain rolling across my face sends shivers through my body
The invigorating joy received through the touch of rain casts flashes of the past through my mind
All the times of genuine contentment, yet which lasted for mere moments, dance in my mind never to be forgotten

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

People are potentially sweet for short times
There are few who become sweeter with time
Trust not what these sugared people say
For you will believe them long enough for them to drive you crazy
And turn all you ever were, and all that ever charmed you- against you
It's inevitable
A way to life
All that was once sweet has been left marinating in others desires
Your passed pleasures become spoiled
Never again to brighten your day

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The rain, the stars and chocolate
will they one day lack all meaning to me . . .

*hidden from the world, in hopes of surviving another day with my heart intact*

One pass! And one fail?

Today was the day in which I was tested on my driving skills.
A very friendly lady (Teri-Lynn) was my examiner. Once I had completed the test, and past, she informed me that I had 'above average observation' skills and I was to tutor my sister (who had, earlier in the day, taken her G2 test) on these expertise capabilities. And for all those who make foolish propositions that I am an inadequate driver, Terri-Lynn informed me that I am a sensational driver! So HA HA to all those skeptics out there :)

In other news, while my driving test was a success, my other test may not have been.
It all began with the sore throat I awoke with on Wednesday morning. My mom and I thought nothing of it, we often woke up with sore throats in hotels, due to the dry atmosphere. However, the sore throat persisted through the rest of the day and on to the next (which was today). When I told my mother about it, she suggested I tell my father (who just happens to be a physician). He 'did the doctor thing' and checked my throat, and determined I had an 'enlarged thyroid' and needed blood tests?!
I had never given blood before- I had once attempted to donate blood, that is a different story for another time. So this adventure was not one I looked forward to. However, it was one that must be done.

And so I began my trek to the clinic. Actually, my mom drove me- I was too weak to walk to the clinic, even though it was situated around the corner and I am able to see it from the house.

Because it was my first time having to get a blood test, I was given a room to myself and a bed to lie on! I was extremely nervous, but the blood sucker (nurse) was very kind and gentle. And all my thoughts and fears that had flooded my mind from horror stories I had been told in the past, were in vain!

The results should be ready in about a week, and at that point I will have to go visit the doctor who, other then at social events, I haven't seen in about 13 years. It'll be extremely awkward and unpleasant- but must be done (or so I've been told)

-the joys of life often don't last long-

Near Death Experience?

Home at last, though at one point I thought it would never come, and that thought did not come to me while we ran through the Toronto airport in search of our gate (in reality employs should know the way around the airport so as they do not point their customers in the complete wrong direction!)
At times I've had doubts about many peoples constant complaints about transport trucks and their drivers. I had never run into any extreme difficulties concerning them. Until today that is.

We were turning a corner, driving . . . Fast enough, and a transport came at us, on our side of the road! He was not passing anyone or anything. In fact, there were no other vehicles in sight! I did what any logical girl would do, I screamed! Course, that did not change the situation for the space between the transport and I was closing quickly, and there seemed to be little prospect of the transports route changing. So, I used the next best logic I could conjure up in my desperate state- brake and turn on to the shoulder! Thankfully we did not collide (which I'm sure everyone has discovered due to my writing this right now) but my heart was racing and I was in near shock. I would no longer be the one to defend their dignity . . .
Which is a pity, cause I had recently made allies with a transport I had been traveling with.

I have now arrived home, I have completed a few errands and now prepare the house for visitors tomorrow. I have also discovered that I have misplaced some important addresses.
Sorry Meg- they may be a few days late

-the joys of a mother's hectic life -

Continual Twists and Turns in our Path

What is a holiday without an adventure?

First of all it is relaxing and second of all it is nonexistent in my families vacation files.

This holiday surpasses a number of the past 'adventure' we were able to experience. For the past 3-ish days my dad has been in and out of the hospital until he (finally) had surgery this afternoon.
The reason for this is most likely due to a torn retina or something along these lines. The cause of this is unknown but, as far as the doctors are able to tell, have nothing to do with his other medical difficulties he has been presented with these past few months. Thank God!

However, many of our travels and future plans have been put on hold. After his surgery he is not supposed to fly for at least 1 month. So, there goes mom and dads cruise they had planned on taking to celebrate their 25th anniversary (which will take place on 06/6/06 [so all these sudden difficulties should not of been a big surprise, jk]). As for the possibilities in which mom and dad are able to take in order to return home- they are limited.
Until he is released from the hospital and an alternative route to flying can be planned, I will be playing mom to my 3 younger siblings- Hurray! Though i feel this is a position I have been covering since the age of 7.

-could I set a record for the youngest mother ever? or how bout most immature?!-

Lunch with a Private

Today I had the opportunity to see a friend I hadn't seen since grad in June. It brought back a number of memories from highschool days. It's hard to believe that those days were only one year ago (well, for the majority of us). He had a number of stories and new experiences to share. Who thought the Canadian Army could be so interesting . . .

I was very upset with the poor playing of the Calgary Flames this evening. They let down their thousands of fans at the rink as well as everyone in the comfort of their own homes. It seems rather pathetic that a team with then name Flames were beaten to a pulp by the Ducks.
As disappointed as I am, I am completely unable to be agitated by this loss. The Duck's, though I won't ever admit this to a particular person, have a place in my heart, not necessarily because of what they have accomplished as a team, but because of my childhood craze with "the Mighty Ducks" and Joshua Jackson. Who would not have a soft spot for the Ducks if they've ever seen those movies.

Though Calgary lost- the Jays won! . . . so it was not a completely shameful night for Canada.

-Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better then any dream-

Tanning Put on Hold

You’d think with two sisters at home, baby-sitting would not be something i’d get stuck with. don’t get me wrong, i truly do enjoy baby-sitting (when they are not kids from Hell) but it was not what i had planned on doing my fist saturday back in town.
However, as one sister was out of town for a volleyball tournament and the other sick i was their third and final option. so there i was, spending my Saturday evening with a 9 and 7 year old.
We decided to play on the trampoline. Two neighbour boys came over. They (notice how my opinion no longer matters) decided we would play tag-on the trampoline- me being it. So, they stood on the time out tree taking turns charging at me and trying not to get tagged. At one point in time i dove at them from across the trampoline. I took on a wild and uncontrollable rolling action. Unfortunately the trampoline was smaller than i recalled and the turbulent spinning hurled me over the edge and onto a small brick wall.
-OUCH-
I hit my elbow and my leg on the brick wall and a random lawn chair and I hurt my pride. Yet i got back up again. To show my pain in front of children is amiss. I remember as a child, to see a grownup wounded was unnerving. I'd hate to have caused such a frightening experience for them now as their senior.
So now, i suffer from a number of rather large and tender bruises and the memory of a stupid action in front youngsters.

It may be a while before i'm in a bathing suit again

-the joys of being uncoordinated, accident-prone and blonde (i get these superb qualities from my mother)-

Stars

Finally, after little sleep, less food and a substantial amount of sitting I have reached my final destination.
I was delighted to see that nearly my entire family was awake and anxiously awaiting my arrival. Though my brother had begged to be permitted to remain sleepless like the rest of the family, my mother objected. She knew his tendencies all too well, his lack of sleep would only add extra irritation to his actions, something no one wished to cope with the next day. Instead I was able to visit him well he sleptwalk later on that evening. The blank stare and unresponsiveness made our time together short, but extremely enjoyable. Sleep walkers can be exceptionally entertaining at times.

The atmosphere here is completely different than at school, which is not surprising. The 6 people present under this roof, with only a limited amount of visitors per day cannot compare to the ways of dorm. Though, as I sit here I wonder what are those voices that I can frequently hear in the back of my mind and then I realize: I can hear my thoughts! Such a foreign feeling, something I had nearly forgotten since my last time home. Those things which, while in dorm often kept me from this experiment now haunt my mind though. Not with feelings of loathing, but with a longing heart. No more
- constant laughter echoing from the rooms down the hall
- random calling from surrounding rooms
- knocking at the window
- blood curdling alarms from the absent minded girls
- singing from my only neighbour
- persistent humming of showers or toilets being flushed
- sirens and horns from the streets outside

It is almost erie!

Though there is a definite improvement here which is one I have been looking forward to for ages.

Stars

A dark sky shining with millions and billions of stars.
I wonder how I was ever able to survive with such a pathetic excuse for stars during my stay in the city.
I'm puzzled over how city folk are able to exist with such pitiful amounts of stars.
But perhaps, they know nothing better?! Could it be that they are unaware of the true appearance and magnificence of stars?
I think that it should be a requirement for all people to spend time away from the hustle and bustle of the city and to experience true beauty, silence and darkness.

-do you suppose they are equally ignorant of Northern Lights?-

Change Change Change

4 days till I leave for home.
In those 4 days I have to write 2 more exams, study for them, pack up the entire contents of my room, say goodbye to numerous people who have grown very dear to my hear in hopes that I will see them again, and clean my room.
There are half packed bags and boxes situated all around my room, it's depressing, but not nearly as haunting as the increase number of the empty rooms that I am surrounded with.

I hate good byes.

When interrogated about my summer plans, I have nothing to answer with. My plans are presently nothing more then ideas. I've been putting off planning for the summer in hopes that it would not come so quickly.
That plan did not work so well.

I am, however, excited to be going home to see my family and some old friends. Though, I've discovered lately that, missing someone who you have not seen for an extended amount of time is not nearly as painful as missing someone who you have grown accustomed to seeing everyday.
I suppose that after the summer it will be everyone from school who will be the ones who I will have been separated from for a prolonged amount of time and my family and home friends who haven taken their positions as the ones I'm used to seeing.

In any sense . . . I'm really going to miss this way of life, no rules or boundaries to worry about, and visitors constantly dropping by and aiding with my procrastination habits.

-I'm constantly reminded of how change is good, but if we never had to experience it, we'd never know that and we'd bee content with what we have-

and i never will be 20

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Past to Future

Home in dorm again after a refreshing and exuberant Easter long weekend in Lloydminster. How I wish we could return to Canada's 'Border City' and its simple yet pleasant way of life.
Memories flash through my mind of
- real food; how sweet, juicy and overly enjoyable
- hide and go seek in Walmart - first time ever getting evicted from the premises of a public place
- nearly 6 hours of story time (we read the end half of Harry Potter 5 aloud to each other!) We are not nerds . . . :)
- movies, movies, and movies (some more then once)
- kicking shoes into the tree- which most definitely had an affect of the other tree a few feet away which only days later came crashing to the ground (where we had been parked)!
- and just over all good times spent sitting, talking, playing games and making chocolate cake!

Now I sit here, alone in my half empty room. Boxes, both full and bare, surround my desk. My walls, which were once covered in pictures and quotes now appear naked and desolate.
There are however, a few quotes remaining which support my anti-love/anti-guy theme:

"There are easier things in life than finding a good man . . . Like nailing jello to a tree for instance"

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come"

"Can't eat, Can't sleep, Get butterflies in your stomach- feels great! It's not love, it's someone other then your mom thinking you are cool"

"Some people are like slinkies . . . Not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when they fall down the stairs"

These quotes have been referred to a number of times throughout the year and used to cheer us up in times of sorrow or wrath towards the opposite sex.
I've collected a number to add to this collection next year:

"If you want me to fall for you, you've got to give me something worth tripping over"

"A heart is not a play thing, A heart is not a toy, But if you want it broken, Just give it to a boy. "

"Don't rush into falling in love, take your time, enjoy the pain!"


I wonder how all this will be for my future roommate, to be forced to see these everyday of her dorm life. She's been with the same guy for years and posts picture of him all over her room . . .Will we be divided just as are choices of decor will be?

-It's hard to pretend you love someone when you really don't,
but it's even more difficult to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do. -

A Response (finally, so sorry)

Ok Leah, here it is . . .

1. Yours is the only car I ever recognize in the parking lots! It's just so unique!
2. Breakaway - by Kelly Clarkson
3. Straightening hair . . . I can't believe you all trusted me with your hair! lol
4. Cowboy hunting + anti-boy club
5. When you came to Dryden ages ago on the summer crew team!!
6. A kitten
7. I dunno, just random questions that well lead to a stronger friendship and further understanding of each other!
8. "There are easier things in life than finding a good man- like nailing jello to a tree for instance" (it's posted on my wall, and I think its true . . . )
9. I think that you should not settle for anything less then perfect . . . God has a perfect plan for you and he will one day place an amazing guy in your life . . . and when you finally meet him, you're going to know why you waited for that perfect one!
10. Time to post!


Justin's turn . . .

1. Justin, last year we were in nearly every drama group together, which rocked cause you knew all the tricks to the lights and technology!
2. monty python and the holy grail
3. lol, oh boy, I remember drama class (not 149, the other one, was it 102?) and you sitting in the audience always yelling at the people who were trying to work the computer! You'd first tell them how it worked, but they never listened to you and you'd get so frustrated!
4. Costco is the quintessential family hangout place!
5. First memory . . . The boy that kept following me around in my drama groups :P
6. A pony
7. Does it bug you that you are attending school the same place as your sister and where both your parents are employed?
8. "If you were meant to fly, God would have given you wings"
9. I think that you are an excellent techy, especially with the lights!
10. This is your part - post!


Last but not least, Miss Alyson . . .

1. You know, you have a very original spelling of your name, I like it, it most definitely fits your personality!
2."Praise You with the Dance" -Casting Crowns
3. Drama class . . . so many good times, that's where I met you, well, got to know you more and I'll always remember those times. (especially the massage circle!)
4. I'm living vicariously through you!
5. In drama class when Krysta and I were asking you questions about a certain boy and whether or not he was available (for a friend, not for either of us) . . .lol
6. Kangaroo - always happy and jumping!
7. I would've just like to get to know you better before you leave . . . But we have little time now . . .Keep in touch!
8. 'Friends are like bras, They're close to your heart and there for support.'
9. I think you are one the most optimistic people I know, you are always happy, always smiling and friendly to everyone. You are very encouraging and I'm going to miss you tons next year . . .
10. Post time . . .

My Name, Your Name

As was previously agreed, I must post this on my blog . . .
it all began with Jenn's blog which read:

so join in my adventure.....give me your name and I will:

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll tell you my favorite memory with you.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) I'll give you a quote that reminds me of you.
9) I'll tell you something that I think about you.
10) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.


So, I followed the instructions, and posted my name and Jenn responded with this:

Lauren

1. snow is white. you make snow angels in white snow, not yellow snow, and not hot pink snow.
2. IÂ?m thinking complicated, by avril
3. well, I think when I figured out it was you at the pirates and nijas party. I had no idea.
4. I donÂ?t want to go to choir, IÂ?m going to be late.
5. I met you with the other Ontario folk. IÂ?m sorry youÂ?re from Ontario. west coast rules!!!
6. a white parrot.
7. ummm, I would like to have a conversation with you about boys.
8. itÂ?s on the tip tongueoungue..something about the cafeteria.
9. I think you can do great things.
10. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

And I will now continue on with this . . . if you post your name, i will post similar memories and thoughts I have of you . . .
Dun, Dun, Dun

New Chapter

Another chapter in my life is coming to an end, leaving behind a multitude of unanswered questions.
Don't you despise that! -when there are plots introduced to the reader which are never brought to a satisfying conclusion. The characters seem to be left hanging, with no responses to their conflicts . . .
It drives me into disturbed mental states, often causing uncontrollable thoughts and actions.


My thoughts at this moment rest on what this new chapter may bring.

How many of the characters will return, and how many new ones will be introduced?
Will they be characters worth getting acquainted with, or will they be villains?
Will there be uplifting and stimulating times or will it all turn to despairing and discouraging occurrences?
Where will it take place?

There are countless possibilities for this approaching chapter, and yet no synopsis to prepare us.
Is it worth risking time and energy on . . . or should I attempt to locate a new one to take part in.

So many questions that can only be solved in time . . . but in what amount of time?
It could be hours, days, months, years . . .

-I generally enjoy longer stories, but in this case, I may be willing to make an exception-

All in an Evening

Yesterday I saw a gorgeous guy. We nearly walked into each other, but he paused long enough to let me pass. He looked at me, and I at him, but nothing was said. He then walked on . . . was there one last look from him before he continued on with his life?
How I wish I could read silence . . .



So, supposedly last night, while we slept, the fire alarm went off (it was only for a short amount of time). It woke only two dormies, not including staff.
Three fire trucks came, with lights, sirens and fireman . . . they even entered the building!
But we slept on, there was little time for beauty sleep, we had to take advantage of it.
Had i known, however, that there were fireman, i may have been willing to sacrificed a few minutes of sleep.

What if it had been a real emergency?! Would the alarm, the commotion, the lights, wake us up?


- another night like the last today please, but with me as the witness -

Passionate about Pink

As a young girl, my loathing for pink was bazaar and unaccountable.
My best friend and I as young girls, often adjusted our 'favourite colour' many times a week, just to be unique from out younger sisters.
I recall having 'confidential conferences' by the water fountain during class time, we discussed how one of our copious sisters had decided to share our favourite colour. As the older and 'wiser' ones, we would not allow it. We would come up with a new colour to claim as ours.
There were two colours however, that were never 'ours'. Purple and Pink.
Purple, because it had been associated with my sister since I can remember, and to share a favourite colour with your sister is just tacky.
Pink, was pink. It was the colour which defined a 'girly-girl' something which neither of as wanted any connection with.

It took me 16 years to overcome that stereotype.

Now, on this beautiful spring day, I find myself dressed in practically all pink.
This is not due to the fact that I am now a 'girly-girl', but because I am fond of the colour. It is an exceedingly happy colour, I often use it to reflect my moods.
In fact, I am using it to reflect my mood regarding the weather!

It truly is a b-e-a-utiful colour!


-Pink makes me happy!-

Save the Horse . . .

Random question of the day :

Can you describe your life as of now, in 3 words?

My Answer:
A continual adventure . . . but does 'a' count as a word?
Questioner - i don't know, i think a word has to be over 3 letters
(perhaps i should ask one of those professors who ask for 1500 word papers)



(my roommate is presently yelling at the voices in her head)



It has been over 2 weeks since our plans had been formulated. I had never fully comprehended or been acquainted with the entirety of the situation, but it seemed like it would be a momentous occasion none the less.
And so, at 9 last night we departed for our adventure.

Our final destination -Cookcounty Saloon (it turns out the closest parking is really at McDonald's). A superb location for line dancing (no matter the degree in which you are presently dancing at, from beginner [as i am presently at] or intermediate) I was informed.
Upon arriving i discovered that the bouncer was from my part of the country! ~It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world~ It is rather strange at times to meet people who have ventured great distances to escape the ways of their old lives.
But to great avail? I was never presented with the opportunity to inquire upon such matters, if i return, perhaps i will query upon his success.
The saloon, which i then found my self in, was surprisingly large. It had at minimal 3 bars, a fair sized dance floor and a large number of tables.
EMPTY tables.

I looked around, and omitting the staff, there were scarcely enough people to fully wrap their arms around a B.C. tree!
We found a fairly secluded table in the corner (we were attempting to escape the crowds, don't-you-know!). Within minutes however, we were bombarded by some floozy dancers (who were wearing Big Earl T-shirts, [we suspected they worked for Big Earl's radio station]). They requested upon taking our photo for the Big Earl website. We obliged.
We sat at our table sipping drinks, anticipating the crowds to arrive by 10.
But 10 came, and 10 went, and the only adventures we experienced was my gaining of 100 cool points and Krysta and Kelsey's dancing with the Big Earl girls.
We decided to go searching for crowds. So down White Av. we went.

It did not take us an extensive amount of time to realize where the multitudes were situated. It was no a surprise that, on a game night, they were found glued in front of a T.V. set. Typical men, though i must admit, while passing the windows i slowed my pace, creating an opportunity to enjoy the game myself.
The city's team were i in overtime and it would be a while before they male race would begin to venture onto the streets again.
We decided your search was in vain.

So much for meeting some cowboys!
Perhaps we shall try this again, on an evening more common to party life, line dancing and cowboys. Though i have my doubts.

-Save the horse . . . it's more dependable then the cowboy-

Spring at 11:26

It is said that it will be Spring at 11:26 this afternoon. This strikes me as an odd time to choose. Though it most likely was not chosen but specified by the rotation of the sun, or some other such nonsense hypothesis elucidated by scientist, or would this be more of a geologist job?

What precisely is the purpose and responsibility of a geologists?

With spring suddenly at our doorstep I have my doubts to what Spring truly is. Just 4 days ago we received over a foot of snow! Which is completely ridiculous.
Throughout the winter months, designated specifically for snow, we received none. There were days during those months that the temperatures were so extreme that I had been tempted to wear shorts and had it not been for the odious condition of my legs, I most likely would have.
However now, at the time when shorts and no jackets is upon us, the snow accumulation is ludicrous. When the geologists declare spring time, I expect it to come!

Or perhaps a geologist has no power, just theories.
In that case, he is no better then a philosopher in my eyes.

The abnormal amounts of snow however is no stranger to my ordinary season norms.
It is a prevailing belief in North Western Ontario (my home territory) that our seasons occur as such :
Winter (known to the reset of Canada as [kttroca] Fall/Autumn)
More winter (kttroca Winter)
Still winter and (kttroca Spring)
Construction (kttroca Summer)

So I am accustomed to snow from September to May. However, I had hoped to enjoy some beautifully acclaimed spring weather here before I am to return to further winter conditions. It presently appears however, like I am destined to live a life of winter.

-perhaps I am also destined to marry a snowMan-

Descartes' Dilemma with Dreams

According to Descartes, it is difficult to distinguish between your sleeping/dreaming state and your conscious state. (this is something I have come to remotely understand in my philosophy 102 class this semester)


I disagree with Descartes on this statement (as well as a few others which I presently do not wish to discuss). These past number of evenings I have been having extremely bizarre and deranged dreams. The most peculiar one as of lately occurring two nights ago proceeded as follows.

I first dreamt that an acquaintance of mine was trying to get me to smoke a plastic fork with mustard on it! (that's not even possible, and therefore Mr. Descartes, it cannot be confused with reality) I refused and he ended up getting caught in his 'illegal acts'.
As well, I dreamt that there was a group of us who had been sent to eliminate a certain band of people. I recall first becoming 'friends' with these people, and once they trusted me executing such actions such as grasping them by their feet and beating them against a tree trunk until they were dead. We also, at some point, used knives to 'do the job'.
In my dream this criminal and appalling activity did not faze me in the least. I continued on with my task, becoming aware of what I was doing only when I left one of the corpses where it had been discovered and they threatened to publicly announce my involvement with the affair.

This dream, I know, would never transpire in my waking state, at least not with my involvement. The mere thought of such activities sends chills across my body.


-dreams offer a liberation impossible to reach while in a state of consciousness-

The M&M Dispenser Theory

If ever one is in need of finding friends fast (girls in particular) i highly recommend an investment in an M&M dispenser. It need not be an exceptionally fashionable one, nor an extraordinarily expensive one, for all that is truly needed is an endless supply of M&M's.

Before I had departed from my home town to make my way to my new abode, a family friend bestowed on me a small trifle of affection. That item appeared to be nothing of great value. It was assembled with what appeared to be scraps of wood (which had not been stained) and an old jar. Yet, this is not the physical appearance in which i wished to draw attention to. Instead, it is the blessings in which it generated.

Upon my preliminary arrival here at dorm I was familiar with only one fellow resident, my roommate. But, due to my highly developed brain i discovered a way in which to 'make friends'.
It first began with the girl across the hall, and soon expanded, for over the next few days the amount of visitors i was receiving increased readily (and i began to realize, that due to the fact that my roommate rarely bathed, there was something more that must be drawing them to my chambers). I began to noticed that each time i had a visitor, they would also visit the M&M dispenser.
Reality soon became apparent to me. My reign over then entire dorm looked promising [insert evil laugh here].


So, i continue to refill that dispenser.
You may never know when one may be in need of diligent and devoted workers :)

-Free Chocolate + Females = POWER-

Mrs. Captain Jack Sparrow

Tomorrow evening - Pirates & Ninjas Box Social party!

Krysta and I have been . . . testing out our costumes for tomorrow. Upon our initial tests we were mistaken as 'baseball players'. Now, don't get me wrong (Jordan) there is nothing wrong with baseball players, they just would seem out of place at a Pirates & Ninjas party. Even more so than the rumoured Knights.
I, however, saw more the "Lost Boys" look over the baseball player style. Which, was cleverly noted, is one step closer to a pirate, since they were known to fight (and often win) against pirates.

So, with the assistance of hair products (for Krysta) and donations (from a number of fellow dormies) we were able to accomplish the "pirate" look with more enthusiasm then previously acclaimed.

Tomorrow, after a quick stop at the dollar store and a detour to get "more supplies" for other members of the squad, we will test our pirate skills and attire.

-Yo Ho Yo Ho a pirates life for me!-

Suggestions?

SUBJECT: me

MATTER: mood

PROBLEM: filled with rage, disgust, loathing, doubt, forlorn hope, extreme distaste, unreasonably emotional

REASON: unknown

RESOLUTION: chocolate?

THOUGHTS: there may be a certain person/certain people/group of people who is/are most definitely at the top of my 'hit' list this evening, but i can assure you that i know not the complete reason. It was almost as if some sort of revelation came to me suddenly, revealing that i should be irritated and bitter towards them. And the rest of my mind concurred with that surprising fact (which was rather unnatural sensation-that my entire being agreed on one specific thing).
These events have led me to my present state of loathing, neglect, hostile and chocolate craving. As one can learn from the above information, i am unsure of how to manage in a respectable and rational fashion.

DIAGNOSIS: completely out of my mind

Happy Alaurda!!

Random afternoons are most often the most enjoyable.

While returning from our mail check (where we both received acceptance letters to the 'Residence Life Program' for next year!) Manda discovered that one of her most loathed classes of the year (ever since she'd dropped Ed Psych) had been canceled for the day!
So, we decided to celebrate by enjoying the b-e-a-u-tiful weather and go on a walk!
There is a common saying that says "there is always good in the bad" and I completely agree. Except, during this good time I've discovered that there is always something bad in the good. At this point, in my highest mood of the week, I discovered just what that bad is.
Procrastination.
I have had a hole in the bottom of my shoe for, well, since drama 149 last semester. I've frequently claimed that I was going to repair the hole 'as soon as I had returned home', yet it was always placed at the end of my 'to do' list with my other important tasks (homework, for example). I began to regret that primary characteristic of mine. Walking outdoors on sunny spring day however can get relatively damp, which causes no comfortable feeling when one has a hole in their shoe.
In no time at all, I was soon transporting a compact pond in my shoe, more specificity, between my toes.
While the walk was most enjoyable, the conditions could have been superior.

On the W-A-L-K (in the P-A-R-K, park!) Manda and I discovered that is was none other then Alaurda! We decided the best way to celebrate such a holiday would be to eat chocolate (surprise, surprise) pie/cake and write poetry for each other in it! It was a superb plan and we could not wait for evening!


It was 3:20, and Manda had requested that if I did not see her by 3:13 that I was to wake her from her slumber!
I entered her room quietly with the intention of joining her in bed.
My plan worked perfectly; while she slept I pounced!

Now, as I sit here, Amanda calls my name, beckoning me to join her in our celebration!
And who can say no to a red fruitloop with chocolate?!
Not me, I must be off.

-joyous Alaurda to all those who wish to celebrate our existence and individuality-

'Are You OK?'

'Are you ok?'


That is one of the worst questions to be asked, especially when the individual is fully aware that there is something wrong and there is no possible way for you to be 'ok'.
Obviously, since it is such a commonly asked question, the answer is going to be given almost subconsciously.

When people are in states of distress and discomfort, it is best to ask either direct questions or none at all. A casual "Are you ok" will neither offer any assistance nor encourage the individual to elaborate on their present condition.

If it just so happens that someone is faced with such a situation as was previously mentioned my suggestion is a hug. It's as simple as that.

A hug can say many things especially when your mouth cannot.

-a hug may not heal someone, but the healing is not up to you-

My Ride to an Unstable Future

It is a common occurrence in my life that I become confused with certain situations.
Even things that once seemed so straightforward now have come to bewilder me beyond comprehension.
It is enough to drive an innocent girl to the brink of insanity!
Which is more then enough to drive an already unstable girl to complete madness!

Back to my incompetence of deciphering my own thoughts.
Perhaps my reason for such uncertainty in my contemplations and emotions are due to my over assessment of nearly every insignificant experience.
It seems that I can evolve even the most irrelevant pieces of information into something drastic.
It has become a rather stressful hobby I must say.

Perhaps I should take up cross stitching, I hear it is relaxing.

-I wish I were numb, with no thoughts, emotions and pains-